Wife Slammed for Inviting Visitors Into Room During Man's Catheter Change

Commenters criticized a woman who said she went against her husband's at-home nurse's wishes by trying to have her parents visit him while he was getting his catheter changed.

The anonymous woman, known only as u/Throwraquestion597, posted about the incident to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole where it received 11,000 upvotes and nearly 3,000 comments in less than 20 hours, many from users calling out the woman for disrespecting her husband's privacy during catheterization.

A urinary catheter is a small plastic tube that is inserted into the bladder by a doctor or nurse. Catheters can either be inserted through the patient's urethra–located just above the vagina or the tip of the penis–or through a small opening in the lower abdomen.

However, some people self-catheterize which involves sticking a tube through the urethra to allow urine to drain from the bladder and is immediately removed.

In the post titled "AITA telling my husband's nurse that she doesn't get to dictate who's/isn't allowed in my home?" the woman explained that her husband, 36, recently got discharged from the hospital after several weeks.

He now requires an at-home nurse to monitor his medical devices and handle medical-related matters such as medication intake and catheter or cannula insertions.

"I've noticed she's been acting a bit rude and overstepping by trying to tell me when to enter my bedroom where my husband's staying or when the kids get to come in," the post read. "I already told her how I felt about her attitude and she claimed she was just doing her job making sure my husband is getting enough rest."

The woman explained that the other day her parents wanted to visit her husband but when she opened the bedroom door and led them inside, the nurse began redirecting them out of the room.

"I was confused I asked what tf she was doing and she told me she was in the middle of removing my husband's catheter and this wasn't a time for a visit," the post read. "I nearly laughed but she forced us out and shut the door. I was fuming."

She said she told her parents to wait in the living room and she began arguing with the nurse. The nurse told her that her husband needed privacy and was in a "vulnerable state."

"I told her this is my home, my bedroom and those were my parents coming over to see my husband and check in on him," the post read. "She told me it wasn't the right time for a visit but I told her that she's in my home and she was overstepping by trying to dictate who is and who isn't allowed in to see my husband."

She also told the nurse that she would report her for her "attitude" but she replied that she was "just trying to do her job" and told her to ask her husband how he felt about having visitors during the catheter change.

After asking the nurse to leave, the woman talked to her husband who said he did feel that she violated his privacy and that she was being too harsh on his nurse and she replied that her parents were "worried sick" and wanted to see him.

"He said this wasn't the right time and basically backed the nurse up," the post read. "We got into an argument over this and then he told me to let it go and let the nurse do her job but I said that she keeps acting aggressively and like I was some outsider in my own home. Am the a**hole in this situation or is she really overstepping?"

Nearly 3,000 users flocked to the comments, with a strong majority calling out the woman for not respecting her husband's privacy and for being "the a**hole."

"Medical professional here: the job of the nurse is to take care of her patient's needs, not yours. So yeah, YTA," one user commented. "Do you really think your husband would be chill having his mother and father in law walking in while he's having a tube STUCK INTO HIS PENIS?"

"You're feeling resentment to the nurse because she is the only one in this situation acting on behalf of your husband, which is EXACTLY what she is being paid to do," another user commented. "I can't believe you even had this discussion with your husband and still had the nerve to come on here and question if you are the a**hole."

"It's not just your bedroom. It's his convalescence room too," one user commented. "He needs time, space and privacy. And a good nurse will ensure he gets those even if a wife is being a little too entitled. And if you're [sic] husband agrees with her? Then why are you even asking? YTA."

"I'm a nurse and when a nurse is removing a catheter, it's common and respectful to either not come into the room or leave," another user commented. "As the patient most likely doesn't desire an audience while having a tube removed from his/her urethra."

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwraquestion597 for comment.