Woman Backed for Wanting to Change Tables to Avoid a Crying Baby

The internet has defended a woman for asking a restaurant employee to switch their tables to sit farther away from a crying baby.

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/Ok_Candy7966 shared her story for the "AITA" community to decide whether she acted inappropriately.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she and her husband went out to eat for the first time since their baby was born. She wrote that it was her second child, but the first for her husband. They got a babysitter and went to eat at a fancy restaurant.

After they were seated and ordered, another couple sat down at the table next to them and had a baby in a stroller. After some time, the baby began to cry. The OP explained that the mother tried to comfort the infant, but nothing worked.

The OP explained, "By then we just wanted to leave but we had already ordered so we decided to ask the waiter if we could change tables to the other side of the restaurant. The waiter asked if there was a problem and I said it was our first time out after having a baby and we didn't feel like spending our evening next to someone else's crying baby."

"He was super nice and quickly asked another waiter to help him set up the new table for us. Another couple that was in the same area also asked to be seated elsewhere. The couple with the baby overheard what we said to the waiter and [especially] the mom got upset and called me an [a******]," she continued.

The woman argued with the OP, saying that she didn't have children and that "babies are also people" and she has to accept how babies act and that there was "nothing she could do about it."

The OP told the woman she could bring her child home to get some sleep so people could enjoy their dinner and ignored everything else the woman told her. They got their new table and enjoyed their meal—even though they could still hear the baby crying.

The following morning, her sister told the OP that she was in the wrong.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Ok_Candy7966 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding parenting infants, including a mother who changed her child's diaper on a restaurant chair, a mother who wouldn't allow her mother-in-law weekly visits with her new baby and a mom who "refused" to feed her newborn to sleep.

Ways to soothe a crying infant

"Infants can cry for a number of reasons, including when they are overstimulated, tired, or hungry. Especially in the first three months of life (which experts refer to as the Fourth Trimester), they are easily dysregulated and may cry easily as a result," Dr. Whitney Casares, Gerber pediatric consultant, told Newsweek.

Casares shared ways to help soothe a crying baby in a public setting, including use of a baby carrier to help them feel "snug and secure."

"Sometimes introducing a pacifier helps or even a change of scene and the motion of a short walk around the location. A white noise machine set at a low volume is a good trick, too," she said.

When soothing a crying baby in general, parents can try shushing, swaddling or swaying, as it can mimic the "secure" feeling they had while in the womb, Casares added.

Casares also said to check if they are crying as a way to communicate what they need, including a diaper change or if they're hungry.

"Parents often feel embarrassed or regretful when their babies cry in public spaces, but it's perfectly normal for babies to cry in infancy," she told Newsweek. "Learning soothing techniques ahead of a big adventure out can help parents feel confident and prepared."

Redditor reactions

"[Not the a******]. You have kids and got a babysitter. In what universe do you want to go to a fancy restaurant ANY time and listen to somebody else's crying baby at the next table. No way," u/corgwin said, receiving the top comment with over 15,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a******] - People with crying babies should get up and take them out of the dining room to soothe them," u/BeastOGevaudan wrote.

"[Not the a******]. I'm a mother and would totally move if I was out on a date night and we were seated next to a crying baby. It's your prerogative to move if you feel like it," u/caryn1477 explained.

U/PrydferthAnnwyl questioned, "[Not the a******] Kids, especially babies have a tendency to be loud and annoying, why take a loud newborn to a fancy restaurant and expect others to be okay with it?"