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A woman has been slammed online after taking offense to her sister-in-law's laid-back wedding rules.
Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/StatisticianOwn3954 shared her story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she will be getting married in three months. At her wedding, she had two rules: guests should avoid wearing the colors white and emerald green since white is the color of her dress and emerald green is the color of the bridesmaids' dresses, and people should RSVP by a certain time in order to be included in the reception.
When describing her relationship with her sister-in-law, she said they have an "ok" relationship as they aren't "extremely friendly," but they get along.
During her fiancé's birthday celebration, some of OP's friends spoke highly about how relaxed her wedding rules were and how nice it was to attend a wedding where they don't feel like they're "walking on eggshells."
"I said that this is not me at all and I just want my guests to have fun as well so I don't want to put many limitations," OP said.
One of her fiancé's friends showed OP her dress to make sure it was okay for her to wear and wanted her approval. OP said she loved the dress and encouraged her to wear it. She told the friend that it was "not easy" to overshadow the bride and if someone did, she thought it wasn't a big deal.
Not having her sister-in-law in mind when discussing her wedding rules, she found OP's comments offensive. At her sister-in-law's wedding, the rules were stricter as it was a child-free and strict dress code wedding. OP confirmed that she listened to her rules but never intended to offend her sister-in-law as she was only talking about her wedding rules.
OP wrote, "She called me out and said I enjoyed subtly shading her, she called me a snake and told me that if I have to say something I should say it in her face. She and her husband left the party."
Newsweek reached out to u/StatisticianOwn3954 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding conflicts with in-laws including a woman who refused to watch her in-law's children after an emergency occurred and a woman who refused to greet her "rude" in-laws when they visited.
How to choose the dress code for your wedding
Alexis Eliopoulos O'Mara, a master wedding consultant at Weddings by Alexis, told Newsweek that she's worked with tons of weddings with different dress codes including Black Tie, Black Tie Optional/Formal, Semi-Formal, Cocktail Attire, Festive, Casual and Beach Chic/Tropical.
"I find that couples often determine the dress code for their wedding based on their reception venue and what they are wearing themselves," O'Mara said.
"If a couple is getting married in a barn, they may have casual, festive or even semi-formal, but it's not typical to have a Black Tie dress code in that environment. Just like if the reception is at the 5-star hotel in the city, the couple is not likely to have a Casual or Beach Chic dress code, they will likely ask guests to dress in gowns, long dresses, tuxedos or dark suits," she continued.
She also added that if a couple is getting married on a beach, but the bride is wearing a flowy white gown, they may ask their guests to wear semi-formal or festive attire instead of Beach Chic.
Newsweek has explained wedding dress codes and what they mean in an article discussing a "non-traditional" wedding.
Redditor reactions
"[Not the a**hole]. Your SIL called you a 'snake' when all you were doing was saying a bunch of rules for your guests isn't your style. Sounds like narcissistic behavior to me," u/ATC_zero wrote, receiving the top comment of over 8,000 upvotes.
"[Not the a**hole] - sounds like she's conscious of how uptight she was and is taking your 'chill' as a dig at her. Definitely sounds like a 'her problem' not a 'you problem,'" u/PuzzleheadedToday13 added.
U/HeartpineFloors voted in favor of OP, "And here I thought it was the sun the earth revolves around and turns out it's your SIL! You can't be responsible for people's reactions who make stuff about them when it's not remotely about them. I am impressed, though, I gotta tell you. It's the rare Bridezilla who can manage to keep on being Bridezilla with someone else's wedding."
U/Sireyn said, "So your formerly-Bridezilla SIL is butthurt because you're confident enough to believe that you won't be outshined on your wedding day, when some of her own wedding's rules may have been crafted to prevent that exact scenario."
"Your day, your way. Let her talk shady to her television whilst binge-watching Say Yes To The Dress if she so badly needs to feel smug and validated about her own choices. [Not the a**hole]," the commenter continued.
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more