Outrage Over Why Woman Called Best Friend's Girlfriend 'Disgusting'

A woman has been criticized online after revealing in a viral social-media post that she had called her best friend's girlfriend "disgusting."

The Reddit user @Sea-Glass-2274 explained that she had described her friend's partner as such during a housewarming party. "I have been friends with Danny since high school and he recently moved in with his current girlfriend Lucy," the woman wrote.

Half (51 percent) of men said that most of their friends are male, while two-thirds (67 percent) of women replied that the majority of their friends are female. This is according to a 2021 YouGov survey of 2,195 U.K. adults. Twice as many men (10 percent) as women (5 percent) replied that the majority of their friends are of the opposite gender.

"They had a housewarming party on Friday and Lucy spent most of the night dancing with her own friends who are very like her, excitable and extroverted," the woman added. "They kept dragging Danny away from his conversations with us to dance even though he's more introverted, like us."

The woman explained that she began to feel angered by Lucy allegedly tearing her boyfriend away from their conversation.

"Later Danny was being quiet so I asked if he was okay and he said that he's just tired, but he kept watching Lucy dancing and then said something in her ear the next time she came over and she just shook her head and laughed at him," the woman added.

She then wrote about the moment when she slammed her friend's partner: "After she went back to her friends I asked if how she was behaving was bothering him. I mentioned the attention-seeking dancing and the fact that she was wearing something really revealing while other guys were at this party. Danny said that it didn't bother him then sat with a moody face.

"At the end of the night Lucy sat down with us and started chatting non-stop. I pointed out jokingly that Danny obviously wasn't enjoying himself since he looked miserable. Lucy ruffled his hair and said that he was quiet because he loved her outfit so much he couldn't wait for us to leave so he could 'drag' her to bed. I thought that was completely inappropriate and said I'd leave if she was just going to be disgusting," the woman added.

Since she made the comment, and stormed out of the party, the woman and her friends have fallen out. She revealed at the bottom of the post that Danny messaged her a few days after the heated conversation, demanding that she apologize to his girlfriend, Lucy.

The woman had written earlier on that she had tried dating Danny in the past, but that it hadn't worked out between them, and they had reverted back to being strictly friends.

How to Handle a Rude Person?

Thousands of Reddit users have been left stunned by the woman's comment toward her friend's partner. Etiquette coach Lisa Mirza Grotts told Newsweek how Lucy could have approached the situation and defused any conflict.

"Firstly, stay calm. If the situation is emotionally charged, this will help," Grotts said.

"Now, try to be kind. When someone is unreasonable, reasoning will not help. Just don't let the situation escalate. Never lower yourself to their level. I'd advise taking the high road. Rise above the minutia, and act like a role model," Grotts added.

What Do the Comments Say?

Many Reddit users criticized the woman for embarrassing Lucy over a playful comment. Since it was shared to the social-media platform on May 1 by @Sea-Glass-2274, the post has more than 5,200 comments, the majority of which are critical of the poster.

One user commented: "I'm sorry but that's such a hateful way to talk about someone's girlfriend just for having fun. she was literally just minding her business having a good time & you had to hate on her for it?"

"Minding her business and having a good time in her own home with her friend, and so much internalized misogyny spilling out of the OP [original poster]," another added.

"She wants the dude but it didn't work out when they tried dating in the past. Makes a lot more sense when you get to that part," a third user wrote.

Can Men and Women Ever Really Be Just Friends?

The fact that there's a romantic past behind the woman and Danny's friendship captured the interest of some Reddit users. They wondered if that could be why the post's creator was so harsh toward her friend's partner.

Jenny Mahlum, an integrative psychotherapist at New York Counseling, told Newsweek her thoughts on whether men and women can really be 'just friends'.

"It's possible, but it does come down to communication, expectations and trust," Mahlum said.

"If you have underlying romantic or sexual feelings for a friend, then that could jeopardize your relationship. If you value your relationship and want to prioritize it, you can decide what next steps to take with the friendship," Mahlum added, "whether this looks like maintaining a friendship as it is, with parameters, or if you need to pause the friendship until your feelings diminish."

Mahlum added that this may even include setting parameters for yourself and the friendship.

"For instance, only see that person when you're with your significant other, too. Or only meet with them in public spaces and avoid physical contact. And if romantic or sexual feelings persist, you can resist the parameters out of respect for your relationship," Mahlum said.

She added that, if both parties reflect on their friendships honestly and respond in a way that prioritizes their relationship, then they will create mutual trust.

Newsweek reached out to @Sea-Glass-2274 for comment via Reddit.

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