Woman Told To Ditch Fiance Who Chose Mom's Birthday Cake Over One She Made

A furious woman has been praised for walking out of her fiance's birthday party after he snubbed the birthday cake she made for him in favor of one his mom bought from a store.

While the image of the difficult mother-in-law might be a cliche, research suggests there could be some truth to the rote depiction.

A 2022 study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science found both men and women reported experiencing more conflict with their mothers-in-law (44 percent) than their own mothers (39 percent).

Researchers found the majority of these conflicts centered around finances and child care and could be influenced by "genetic conflict" whereby an individual "unconsciously acts in the interest of their genetic kin" rather than the wider family unit.

One such conflict recently came to the fore on Reddit, where a woman took to the social media platform to share her reaction to a recent conflict with her fiance's mom that centered around a birthday cake.

Writing under the handle EmilyPaterson099, the 25-year-old woman admitted she and her fiance Ben's mom "don't have the best relationship."

"She's the type that'd have high standards/expectations of whoever dates her sons," she said. "She's commented on my hair and body several times and at some point suggested 'cosmetic' surgeries for the future."

Though she has told Ben how much this upsets her, he told her she needed to "have a thick skin" around his mom. Fast forward to Ben's 31st birthday and with his mom eager to host a party, his fiancee decided she would make him a cake.

When she initially told him this he was "thrilled" at the prospect so she set to work making him a cake exactly "how he likes it." Yet after arriving at the party, she was stunned to see a "large birthday cake sitting at the dining table."

She said she asked Ben's mom what had happened and was told by her future mother-in-law that she had purchased the cake from a bakery. She was then instructed to put her homemade cake on another counter as they would "let the kids have it."

Upset at the snub, the woman said she turned to Ben for support but he simply "nodded" at her in a "just do it" way that left her furious.

Still holding the cake, she turned and headed straight for the door. Though Ben followed after, telling her she was "overreacting" and being "unreasonable" by stirring up drama for nothing, she refused to back down.

"I told him that he didn't need my cake and by extension me since my efforts were so easily dismissed and disrespected," she wrote. When he returned home later, he accused her of acting in a "childish" way and "disrespecting his mom."

Yet people on social media saw the situation in a very different way and not only backed the woman in walking away from the party but also suggested she should walk away from her engagement entirely.

Prove-Me-Wrong- wrote: "please don't marry this man. Run far, far away and bake your cakes for someone who chooses you, not their mom. You deserve it." CymruB agreed, commenting: "It's not just about the cake. This is a whole lifetime of asking her not to rock the boat in favor of his mother and family."

Lolobecks said: "he completely disregarded the effort you put into his cake, in order to keep mommy happy. And then instead of apologizing, he tried to guilt you into staying and taking the disrespect. Is this the life you want?"

BangarangPita noted: "When people agree to get married, they are agreeing to put that person first in their life as their primary family member...unless he gets a serious wake-up call and develops a shiny new spine, mama will always, ALWAYS come first."

1890rafaella added: "He should have put the bakery cake on the counter for the kids and put his gf cake in the center of the table and announced 'THIS is my birthday cake.' But he is obviously spineless."

Newsweek has contacted EmilyPaterson099 for comment.