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Gift-giving can be difficult, but the best thing to do is to listen to the intended recipient when they say what they want—and one woman learned that the hard way.
Posting to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, u/penguinblinders asked if she had made a mistake with her gift. She earned over 11,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments for her trouble—though the comments were not on her side.
She says that last month, she celebrated her one-year anniversary with her girlfriend. Leading up to it, she asked what her girlfriend wanted, and she replied that she just wanted "something romantic" and "cute," mentioning a necklace as a potential gift.
But u/penguinblinders said that a bolt of inspiration struck when she was browsing Amazon: an immersion blender. Her girlfriend loves cooking, she says, and talks frequently about the various kitchen gadgets she'd love. After a recent meal where she made homemade tomato sauce, u/penguinblinders remembered her complaining about the consistency of the sauce, and how it'd be smoother with a blender.
"I'm a very practical gift giver, I like to give things people will use so I bought it and was super excited to give it to her," u/penguinblinders wrote.
On the day of the anniversary, u/penguinblinders was very happy with her gift—an expensive bottle of whiskey she'd wanted "for ages"—but her girlfriend was less enthused.
"I was so hyped and encouraged my gf to open hers. She opened it and her face kinda falls and she goes 'oh... an [immersion] blender...?' And I told her I remembered her talking about all the kitchen gadgets she wanted and was so excited to give it to her," she wrote.
Her girlfriend clarified that she always felt that anniversary gifts should be romantic instead of practical. The gift she truly wanted was a small, $30 mushroom necklace she showed u/penguinblinders online.
Though the gift didn't lead to a rift in their relationship—and u/penguinblinders' girlfriend ended up buying herself the necklace a week later—her best friend and her girlfriend's best friend have both been ribbing her about the mistake.
"I shared my woes with my friend and my friend thought it was hilarious that I was so inept, and that he understood why my gf was upset with her gift. Gf's best friend also got wind of the situation and has been ribbing me with telling my gf to get back to the kitchen," u/penguinblinders wrote.
So, unlike many r/AmITheA**hole posts with much higher stakes, u/penguinblinders simply wanted an answer once and for all—was she wrong to buy the practical gift?
On the first anniversary, the traditional gift is something made of paper, Brides magazine says. It's a symbolic gift representing an empty page and an opportunity to write the couple's new future together. The magazine says that clocks are another common gift for this anniversary, representing "eternal love."
But even Brides recognizes that tradition isn't always enough. The magazine calls jewelry a "no-fail option." The magazine's suggestions for gifts are all on the romantic side, too—so it appears Brides also agrees with u/penguinblinders' girlfriend. Suggested gifts include a photo collage shaped like a heart, skincare sets and, of course, several pieces of jewelry.
The magazine says the ideal gift should be something she'd unlikely be to buy herself—like the whiskey u/penguinblinders' girlfriend got her—something unique and something with meaning.
Redditors also solidly backed her girlfriend.
"[You're the A**hole]. So I get you're a lesbian but wow, this is like TV sitcom man action. You might as well have bought her a bowling ball with your name on it," u/Krakengreyjoy wrote, referring to the infamous birthday gift Homer Simpson bought Marge in a Season 1 episode of The Simpsons, "Life in the Fast Lane."
"OP, honestly, you could have killed this gift. Bought the blender because it showed you were listening to her everyday thoughts and wishes, and had the necklace hanging around the blender when she opened it to show that you were also listening to her expressed gift preferences and need for romance," u/AllDone19 suggested.
"Why did you ask what she wanted if you were going completely ignore it and just buy what you wanted to? [You're the A**hole]," u/GlitterSparkleDevine wrote.
"Do you honestly think a blender is romantic and cute? Seriously why did you ask if you were going to go in the complete opposite direction? Not sure on judgement yet," u/cattripper wrote. "[You're the A**hole] I don't think you were being deliberately mean spirited about this, however I understand why your gf's face fell when she saw the blender."
Newsweek reached out to u/penguinblinders for comment.
About the writer
Matt Keeley is a Newsweek editor based in Seattle. His focus is reporting on trends and internet culture. He has ... Read more