Anger as Woman Returns Husband's Early Inheritance Over In-Law's Comments

A woman has been deemed "unreasonable" by Mumsnet users after explaining a recent financial conundrum, involving her husband, her mother-in-law and her credit-card bill.

In the post, user Marchella wrote that, about five years ago, her mother-in-law gave her husband an advance on his inheritance. He used the money to pay off the poster's $5,000 credit-card bill. "I wasn't happy as I hate owing people money," she explained.

Credit-card debt is on the rise, according to a report by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. It reached $986 billion in the last three months of 2022. According to financial analytics company Experian, the average credit-card balance in the U.S. is $5,221.

Marchella explained that, more recently, while talking with her mother-in-law, she described how she had "financially supported her husband for years." Her mother-in-law denied this, citing the paying-off of the credit-card bill as evidence.

The poster wrote: "I am super sensitive about being called a liar and would not borrow money unless I was desperate." She added that she transferred her mother-in-law the full $5,000 back that night with the reference, "So Marchella doesn't feel beholden."

The poster explained that "I have a thing about being called a liar, or taking money," and that the family members "are now not speaking to me."

Seventy-one percent of Mumsnet users voted that the poster was being unreasonable.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Chloe Carmichael told Newsweek her thoughts about the family situation.

She said: "Money and family relationships are nearly always complicated, but this situation is especially fraught. Why she regards her husband using the inheritance to pay off her debt as 'owing people money' is confusing, since inheritances are not meant to be repaid. Nevertheless, it is surprising that her decision to return the money would result in her husband and mother-in-law refusing to speak to her.

"It seems the heart of the conflict may connect to her perception that she was "being called a liar," added Carmichael. "In reality, there may have merely been a disagreement about whether the husband's allocation of his inheritance towards his wife's credit-card debt constitutes financial support.

"The disagreement over this issue, combined with the husband's lack of consultation with his wife suggesting he knew she would not be happy about it, and then siding with his mother, all suggest collectively that there are major underlying issues of trust and communication with all parties involved."

Users in the comments were split in their reactions, with discobrain supporting the poster: "I think you're right to stand your ground, they both stepped over a boundary there. Let them stew."

TheFormidableMrsC disagreed, commenting: "It was a gift, you didn't 'owe' her anything. If you felt that strongly you should have repaid your husband. You've been very rude to her and owe her an apology."

Advancedpie simply wrote: "What a mess all round."

Newsweek was unable to verify the details of the case.

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