Woman Praised for Sneaking Friend Out of Country to Avoid Forced Marriage

Commenters praised a woman for helping her friend leave the country to avoid a forced marriage with a man 13 years older than her.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Alternative_Comb669, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received nearly 17,000 upvotes and 1,100 comments. The post can be found here.

Arranged and Forced Marriages

Experts estimate that nearly half of all marriages around the world are arranged, with about 20 million arranged marriages existing today.

In arranged marriages, the individual's parents decide who they will marry yet leave the final decision up to the couple. A forced marriage is when the couple is coerced into the marriage or denied the freedom to choose their spouse.

It is estimated that more than 15,000 individuals were in forced marriages in 2016, according to the Asian Pacific Institute on Gender Based Violence. Of these individuals, an estimated 88 percent were women and girls.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for lying to my friend's family about where she was so she could leave the country," the OP said their friend from college recently found their husband of more than two years was cheating on her with a man.

"The truth came out that he only married her to have kids and to save face because in my culture same-sex relationships are taboo. He used her," the post read. "She filed for divorce and moved back home. Even though she told her family what happened, while they were upset, in our culture females are blamed for nearly everything wrong in a marriage and this case was no different."

The OP added that arranged marriages are "the norm" where they're from and that their friend's parents are "ultra-conservative."

"Here's where things get icky," the post read. "Because she was 'used' now in their eyes, they started looking for a man 10 times her senior and that is exactly what they find. He was divorced three times, had 4 kids who lived with him and was 13 years her senior."

'She Didn't Get a Say'

While it is unclear what country OP is from, arranged marriages are most common in the following countries:

• India
• China
• Pakistan
• Japan
• Israel
• Afghanistan
• Iran
• Iraq

According to the OP, their friend begged her parents not to do it but she "didn't get a say" and she recently got engaged to the man.

The friend went to the OP's house crying, and OP devised a plan to get their friend to the United States since they had a valid visa.

OP bought their friend a plane ticket and said that even though it was a huge decision, she refused to remarry against her will. They also gave her cash and dropped her off at the airport.

"She was still at the airport when her parents showed up panicking, asking where she was," the post read. "I lied about knowing and they're having a breakdown right now. I just want her safely out of the country before I say anything."

The OP said that their parents overheard the phone conversation and are "p**sed off" at them for lying. OP's parents said they were going to call the friend's parents to tell them she "ran away."

"I don't know what's going to happen. They demanded where she is and I'm refusing to tell," the post read. "My entire family thinks I'm the AH but I don't."

Redditor Reactions

More than 1,100 users commented on the post, many offering up advice and praising OP for helping a friend.

"You are not the AH. You saved your friend from being abused by her family," one user commented. "Please look into moving away, yourself, if you might be retaliated against. You might have to save yourself now."

"Good work on the extraction. Get your friend in contact with women's support groups that can help her with a more permanent visa," another commented. "She may be eligible under human trafficking laws, due to the forced marriage part."

"DELETE ALL THE DATA. PLANE TICKETS. CREDIT CARD OR DEBIT CARD STATEMENTS. PUT A LOCK ON YOUR PHONE AND DONT OPEN IT," another commented. "Goodluck. You're an amazing friend."

"You gave your friend a life. A huuuuge chance at being free. You did that," another commented. "You freed her as everyone stood by while her parents tried to shackle her to a thrice divorced man [13] years her senior. She would have been treated like garbage and her soul broken down."

Newsweek reached out to u/Alternative_Comb669 for comment.

In other viral Reddit posts, a woman was criticized for banning her kids from calling her mom and a dad was slammed for telling his kid to "get over" his affair. Another father was scrutinized for calling his wife lazy.