Woman Refusing to Forgive Brother for Bachelor Party Snub Slammed

Mumsnet users are calling out a poster for complaining that her husband wasn't invited to a bachelor party—last year.

Venting to the parenting site's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on 17 September, user Lorrymum explained that her husband was the only man at her niece's wedding who wasn't invited to the bachelor party, despite them traveling overseas for the ceremony.

The snub has caused an awkward situation with her brother—who is also the bride's father—with the poster struggling to "forgive" her sibling for keeping the plans a secret. However, fellow Mumsnet users are struggling to see the problem, telling the poster to "let it go."

'Planned With the Groom in Mind'

According to the site Emily Post Etiquette, guests at bachelor parties usually include the groom's close friends, siblings, and occasionally, parents. The event is normally organized by the best man (or best woman), but should factor in opinions from fellow invitees.

The theme or entertainment should be "planned with the groom in mind," and scheduled for roughly a week before the wedding to avoid hangovers on the big day. It should also be inclusive and factor in the budgets of those attending, so no one is priced out of celebrating the groom's upcoming nuptials.

A 2019 survey by WeddingWire found that most bachelor parties have an average of eight guests. This is two less than the average bachelorette celebration, with brides more likely to extend invitations to people outside of the wedding party. Dinner and drinks was most popular choice for both bachelor and bachelorette parties, followed by dancing and clubbing and a bar crawl.

'Unusual'

In her post, Lorrymum said that she and her husband traveled from their home in the U.K. to Florida for her niece's wedding last year. In the run-up to the ceremony, her husband inquired several times about the bachelor party plans, but it seemed as though there wasn't going to be one.

Nevertheless, when the couple returned home after the wedding, they saw photos of the bachelor party had been uploaded to Facebook.

"[It was] a shooting event that every man who was at the wedding attended but he hadn't been asked to," she wrote.

"He is deeply hurt and when I asked my brother about it he just said someone else arranged it and my [husband] had somehow been forgotten."

Although time has passed, the poster is still angry with her brother and wants to know why her husband was kept out of the event.

"We just feel ridiculous for continually asking about something that had already happened but was kept from us for some reason," she said.

Since he didn't plan the bachelor party, the majority of Mumsnet users felt the poster was unreasonable to blame her brother for the slight, or to expect an invite to begin with.

"Wouldn't it be quite unusual to invite the bride's uncle to the stag do?" asked Shortname.

"The stag do is for the groom," said skilpadde. "The invitees will be the men he wants to celebrate with."

"[You are not unreasonable] to be annoyed," wrote countvoncount. "But it was last year!!!!!!.

"Let it go, will gain absolutely nothing now bringing it up again."

While LAWinterofOurDiscountTents commented: "It's kinda rude to keep asking about an event that you haven't been invited to. Take a hint."

However, some users sympathized with the poster and her husband, with Moon22 calling the situation "appalling."

"After you spent all that money to attend their wedding too," she said. "I would be absolutely fuming. It's rude, dishonest and insulting."

Butchyrestingface agreed, commenting: "If every other male attendee at the wedding was there, then it seems perfectly natural to me OP's husband would be invited too."

5128gap wrote: "All the men attending except your husband went to the stag. So only one man was left out, your husband.

"There was a deliberate attempt to avoid him being there by not answering his questions about the arrangements.

"This is weird and hurtful and suggests someone in the group didn't want him there. I'd suspect he is not liked by some or all of the main players in the wedding party."

Newsweek wasn't able to verify the details of this case.