Women Reveal Exactly How They Discovered Men Were Cheating in Viral Post

Women have been sharing exactly how they discovered their partners were cheating, from compromising photos to illicit messages.

Infidelity comes in many forms, with the website ChoosingTherapy.com suggesting that the categories include physical, emotional, cyber and "micro cheating."

The first is fairly self-explanatory, the second may take the form of an emotional or intimate attachment to another person, without a sexual element. Cyber cheating can encompass viewing pornography, chatting with someone on social media or simply liking their posts.

Micro cheating consists of "actions that bother a partner, such as flirting, but there is no intention of straying outside of the relationship," according to the website.

Crucially the boundaries vary by couple. Infidelity is "unethical non-monogamy," ChoosingTherapy said, "because in these situations one partner is neither informed about nor consents to the extra-marital relationship.

"What determines whether or not one has been unfaithful depends on whether the predetermined agreements of exclusivity have been respected, and not on whether the relationship is monogamous or non-monogamous."

Partners who definitely did not respect those agreements are the subject of the Mumsnet thread that is now going viral. The original post, from user Sundaysomeday2022, asked, "How did you find out your husband/partner was having an affair?" and has already received more than 220 responses.

Sundaysomeday2022 wrote: "I'm intrigued as so many discoveries seem to be linked to phones these days. I found out when my [ex-husband] accidentally sent the OW [other woman] a message to our family Facebook chat. This meant that the kids saw it as well!"

WeeHaggisFace replied: "He picked up her payslip by accident and it was in a bag with the dog's stuff after they'd apparently been visiting his Mum."

Everythingiscopy said: "Had a hunch, checked his phone, an archived WhatsApp message from the OW confirming my suspicions. To give him (some) credit he came clean when I confronted him."

Hesheweeshe replied: "Anonymous email."

Feart commented: "He sent a message telling his sister about his weekend plans with the OW, but sent it to our [daughter] instead! I also discovered that he had been telling people we had separated when we hadn't."

CheshireCat1 responded: "He sent me a text wishing me goodnight, pleasant dreams and so on and so forth when I was in bed next to him. I got the text but it wasn't meant for me."

GreenManalishi revealed: "I overheard him in the hotel lobby on the phone to someone telling them he was missing them and he couldn't wait to get home, didn't realise I'd begun to wonder where he was and was standing behind him."

Lanesdown admitted: "The adult child of the OW found me on social media and sent me all the evidence of their relationship. She thought my [soon-to-be ex-husband] was ghosting her mum, suspected he was lying to her mum, so sought me out to expose him."

TimBoothseyes simply wrote: "I walked in on them kissing."

Londonnight explained: "I found out by finding photos of them together [he had denied for a year that he was having an affair]. This was pre smartphones so until I found the actual evidence he continued denying."

EVHead wrote: "I found two cinema tickets in his study for a film I hate at a cinema in the town where he worked, on a date when he was supposed to be away on business."

After reading through some of the comments, Sundaysomeday2022 wrote: "Honestly, why are some men so stupid and s***?!

"I truly believe that many of them regret their affairs / children / familiarity after the honeymoon period with the OW wears off."

Whether or not straying spouses do end up with regrets, the appeal of an illicit fling remains strong. The chart below, provided by Statista, shows the most popular dating apps—and one of the top-ranked platforms is Ashley Madison, which is aimed at married people "seeking a discreet affair."

You will find more infographics at Statista