Woman's Reason for Ruining Her Friend's Surprise Gender Reveal Applauded

A woman has been backed for breaking her promise and telling her friend the gender of her baby ahead of the reveal.

In a now-viral post, titled "AITA for 'ruining' my friend's gender reveal?" user Alittlespice-, 27, turned to the internet for support after her pregnant pal, 29, "hounded" her until she broke her promise.

The post received over 12,800 upvotes as the user explained that initially, she was supposed to be responsible for the baby gender reveal smoke cannon at her friend's reveal party. However, her friend bombarded her until she snapped.

Newsweek reached out to Ulrika Lilja, a friendship expert, who said these pals lack boundaries.

Initially, the Redditor said she was "honored" when her friend asked her to be responsible for the envelope from her 20-week ultrasound.

"She wanted me to order those smoke cannons for her, her husband, and their kids to pop at a photo session to reveal what their new baby is going to be. Personally, I don't see the point in them, but it made my friend happy," she wrote.

She added: "When she handed me the envelope she made me swear that under no circumstances I would tell her what it is no matter how much she begged, or tell anyone else. I agreed."

But for two weeks, the friend began to beg her and bombard her with texts asking to find out the gender.

She wrote: "My friend has HOUNDED me with texts begging me to just tell her what it is, but then following up with 'actually no I don't want to know.' And it's just been going back and forth like that.

"The texts were annoying but I just ignored [them] and understood she was just excited. But the past three days she had begun hounding me at work—I work an office job and I'm in and out of meetings all day. After the first day of a call to my work, I asked her to please just chill out and stop calling me at work. I reminded her that she made me promise not to tell and she'd find out soon enough."

The friend didn't take this advice and decided to call her office phone again.

"I was stuck in a meeting with this client and the receptionist stuck her head in and said I had an urgent phone call, thought it may have been my kids' school so I excused myself and took the call. It was my 'friend' AGAIN. I just snapped and told her if she wanted to know so badly it's a boy! And then I hung up the phone," she wrote.

The woman concluded the post by stating her friend and their mutual friends have fallen out with her and said she should have stuck to her word.

Lilja, the co-founder of GoFrendly, an app for making friends, told Newsweek: "This story of a 'ruined' gender reveal is a perfect example of the importance of boundaries.

"Boundaries are a point of connection between two people. They are the foundation on which every relationship is built, and a confirmation of where two friends' limits and expectations lie. Without them, true friendships cannot thrive. In this instance, the author of this post—let's call her Friend 1—clearly felt that pregnant Friend 2 was transgressing their boundaries as friends by repeatedly asking her about the baby's gender, especially by calling her at work. In doing so, Friend 1's role in the gender reveal became unclear, paving the way for disappointment on both sides.

"However, upholding boundaries is vital in friendships, as is understanding that certain times in a friend's life are going to be more emotionally charged than others. Unsurprisingly, pregnancy and awaiting the safe birth of a child fall into this category. With better communication and patience from both sides, I believe this accidental gender reveal could have been easily averted."

Almost 2,000 people have commented on the post since it was shared on January 21.

The top comment has racked up 22,000 upvotes, it said: "Texting you is one thing, calling you up at work is a completely different thing."

Another agreed: "Exactly. A friend being excited for two weeks and texting a ton? I can totally live. Incessant calling? Depends on the friend. Calls at WORK? You better be dying, because absolutely not."

"Calling you at work and saying it's urgent and pulling you out of a work meeting is INSANE. NTA. She got what she so desperately wanted. What a nightmare," said another.

Newsweek reached out to u/Alittlespice- for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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