Woman's Reason for 'Ratting Out' Her Mom to a Nurse After Surgery Praised

A woman has received support online for "ratting out" her mom to a nurse after undergoing surgery.

The woman shared on the internet that after she'd undergone surgery for a breast reduction she was left in extreme pain and began relying on her mom for help. According to her detailed social media post, the woman's mother proved to be of little help and kept dismissing her pleas for support.

"I've just had breast reduction surgery a week ago," the woman shared on Reddit. "I have a 17-month-old, her dad isn't in the picture and I moved in with my parents because they said they would help me. I obviously can't bend down and shouldn't be picking my toddler up. When my daughter poops my mum says she will go and grab her changing stuff and sort her out. I say ok, and wait with the wipes out, a nappy bag and a new nappy ready. After a few minutes, I go and see what's taking so long only to find my mum completely doing something else."

After having to take on the chores that her mom failed to help her out with after the surgery, the Redditor shared that she ended up popping a few stitches open on her back and that as a result she had to be hospitalized again.

At the hospital the woman told one of her nurses that the reason why she was back was because her mum, who was "supposed to be helping" her out, simply hadn't been.

"I was honest and said that she isn't helping, but I still have to take care of my daughter and feed, and change her when she goes off. The nurse wasn't pleased at all and had a conversation with my mum after I left. Now my mum is in a mood with me and said that I'm making her look bad," the woman wrote.

Since it was shared to the social media platform by @Just-Bumblebee-4570 on March 26, the post, which can be seen here, has been upvoted by 96% of the users who engaged with it and commented on over 820 times. The majority of the Redditors reacting to the post backed the woman and criticized her mother for the lack of support she was showing her.

"Clearly your mom can't be counted on for much, so make your life easier whenever possible and try to only ask her when you really need something," one user commented. "Sorry she's not more helpful," they added.

Another Redditor wrote: "Your mom is making excuses and you're not being dramatic."

How to Care for or Help a Sick Relative at Home

While the Redditor's mom had chosen to prioritize other things over helping her out with her daily chores and childcare, most people would be keen to assist with the needs of someone who is healing from a surgery or otherwise unwell.

Frank Thewes, a therapist who owns the counselling firm Path Forward Therapy in Princeton, New Jersey, told Newsweek that the most crucial thing for caregivers to keep in mind when supporting an unwell loved one is that they should make sure they are always taking care of themselves, too.

"To effectively care for someone else, your wellbeing has to be intact. Set up a self-care routine for yourself and pay attention to your sleep and similar needs," he said.

"Your mental and physical stability is a priority, too. You're a more effective caregiver when your needs are met along with those of the person you are caring for."

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.