Women Are Choosing the Single Life

From going "boy sober" to "decentering men," discourse about young women rejecting the traditional path of marriage and motherhood has swept social media. As birth and marriage rates decline, more and more women are embracing the single life.

But what's behind the rise? Newsweek spoke to the experts and one young woman who is embracing the trend to find out more.

The Single Life Takes Centre Stage on Social Media

One of the poster girls for the trend is Julia Fox, the author and model who is beloved by Gen-Z. Her sound bites are prominent on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram and often reference her decision to remain single.

One such sound bite came from an appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show back in 2023. In the clip, Barrymore asked Fox: "What about now, are you dating anyone?"

To this, Fox replied" "No, no, no. I have like sworn off men... If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm happy." Barrymore then asked Fox: "What if you find yourself like me, almost eight years later, still single?"

To this Fox replied: "Aren't you so happy though?" And Barrymore, grinning, replies, "Yeah!" The clip received over a million likes.

The clip has been shared by women who related to the sentiment. And that's not all. A common sentiment on TikTok is that being single, especially for young women in their 20s, is a "blessing," and "crucial for personal growth."

Beyond this, many on social media advocate for going "boy sober," or "decentering men." Both terms refer to focusing on life without romantic love, not focusing on male attention and living free from the "male gaze," a term originally coined by British feminist Laura Mulvey back in 1975.

What's Driving Women To Reject Marriage and Motherhood?

Away from the algorithm, there is a clear pattern of women moving away from marriage and motherhood. In the U.S., the fertility rate is at a historic low of 1.7 births per woman, and in 2021, the number of single-person households in the U.S. peaked at 38.1 million, a record high at the time.

It's safe to say this is much more than just a TikTok trend. But what's behind the rise?

"Traditional marriage and motherhood is not generally a good deal for women pairing with men," Lisa Wade an associate professor of sociology at Tulane University told Newsweek. "They are less happy than single women, less happy than men married to wives, and sacrifice more of their economic security than men (because they take on more housework and routine child care and are less able to invest at work)."

Wade also said" "Because women can remain single and child-free if they choose, unlike in previous eras, they may do so."

Jennifer Glass, a centennial commission professor in the liberal arts, echoed Wade's statements. "American moms overall have a 71 percent average risk of ending up their family's primary economic provider before their first child turns 18. Hardly a situation conducive to 'traditional' marriage and motherhood," she told Newsweek over email.

The responsibility of caregiving and emotional labor appears to be a major factor for women choosing to forgo a traditional path.

Brooke Erin Duffy, a professor and social media researcher, told Newsweek: "There's a confluence of factors at play," citing the "uneven impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, where women bore the brunt of caregiving."

Duffy added: "In a climate where misogyny is increasingly normalized, it's not surprising that some are seeking ways to challenge traditional structures."

How Does the Single Life Look, IRL?

Held up next to a life of domestic responsibility and emotional labor, perhaps it's not surprising that a single life is resonating with women—particularly young women—online. But what's it like in practice?

For Lilia Souri, a TikTok creator, it's "real freedom."

"Just because someone is single or child-free, doesn't mean they think they'll never find the love of their life. It means they don't need to," she told Newsweek over email.

"As a woman in my late 20s, I've seen so many women, both in my life and beyond, going through the motions of marriage and motherhood without really questioning why they're doing it, what they truly want, or if these choices even align with their values and desires," she said. "I'm not saying marriage and parenthood are inherently bad—I just want people to pause and ask themselves if these life choices are truly what they want, or if they've simply never been presented with an alternative."

Souri also told Newsweek that it's not all about rejecting romantic love, but rather being critical of a path in life, and of value systems more broadly.

"We're rejecting the idea that love in its most valuable form only exists in a romantic partner," she said.

"There's more to life than blindly following a path that was laid out for us. We have choice. We have agency. And if we just allow ourselves to think beyond what we've been taught, we might find a version of fulfillment that looks completely different—but feels even better," Souri said.

Is the Single Life Built To Last?

It's hard to ignore that as the single life rises, so do traditional ideas about marriage, motherhood and gender. Wade told Newsweek: "Right now, there is a movement on the right to reverse or reengineer relationships between men and women along the lines of difference. The last time that happened was the 1950s and that was followed by the civil rights era, the women's movement, gay liberation and the sexual revolution."

Duffy echoed this. "I'm fascinated by the evolving conversations about gender roles emerging on social platforms," she said.

"We've seen a resurgence of traditional gender roles through trends like trad wives and so-called 'bro-casters.' However, social media remains a vibrant space for gender politics and activism."