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The internet has applauded a teen for refusing adoption by her stepfather. In a post to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a teen under the username u/sad-sand-7770 shared her story to let the "AITA" community weigh in on whether she was in the wrong. The viral post exceeds 8,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The Redditor began her story by explaining that she has a brother and a sister. Her dad passed away when her mom was pregnant with her sister. The original poster's (OP) mother got remarried to "John" after seven months of dating. John also has two children from a previous marriage.
"The other four kids consider mom and John as their parents. My sister is especially close to John and calls him dad 100% of the time, and considers my dad to be *my* dad and not hers. My brother is a little more mixed. Calls John dad but does ask about our dad at times, and does keep a photo of him in his bedroom," she wrote.
John and the OP's mother had the idea to adopt each sibling so everyone in the family had the same last name. The Reddit user's brothers and sisters are all for it. However, the OP isn't. They had the adoption plans for a while until COVID-19 put them on pause. Once they began looking back into the process, they found out that the OP was old enough to make her own decision about if she wanted to change her last name.
It isn't cheap to adopt a stepchild. According to adoption.org, when using a lawyer, it can cost between $1,000-$3,000. Adopting a stepchild is less expensive and time-consuming, however, than the regular adoption process.
Her mom and John tried their best to change the Redditor's mind, including therapy and asking in front of her family members, but she wouldn't budge. The family went through the adoption as everyone's names were changed and the OP's parents felt that the occasion was "less special and had a sour note to it."
She explained, "My sister was so mad at me for making her dad upset. John's kids hate me for rejecting their dad. My brother was more upset that the whole thing was such a focus really. My mom told me the moment was almost perfect and I was the reason it wasn't.
"She told me letting John be my new dad was in no way replacing my dad and that I was going to regret it when I'm the one who's the odd one out in the future. I told her I already have been, because I am the only one who doesn't say mom and dad for her and John, I'm the only one who has memories of the parent I lost, and I'm the one who had to be hounded by it forever," she continued.
John snapped at her, telling her that he was "sick of her s**t" and has high hopes that she regrets not taking his last name as he "won't offer again."
The followers of the Reddit forum were quick to defend the OP for her decision.
"[Not the A**hole]. He isn't your dad. You don't want him to be your dad. The fact that your mother and step father are putting this amount of pressure on a child is ridiculous," u/StreamAngler said, receiving the top comment with over 9,000 upvotes.
"[Not the A**hole]," u/TheBearWillBeFine wrote, "They asked you to change a major piece of your literal identity, your name, and acknowledge someone in a role you do not see him in, John as your dad. It's very sad your mother pushed so hard for you to participate in this mess."
U/Aggravating_Ad9046 exclaimed, "[Not the A**hole]. Geez. Your mother and John are ridiculous. They're more interested in appearances and creating their 'perfect moment' than they are in your what's best for you and your well-being."
"[Not the A**hole]at all, OP, and I am so sorry to hear that your mom and John refuse to honor your choice regarding the adoption offer. They're being awfully childish about not getting their way right now, hopefully some day they'll snap out of it," u/JulieB1ggerbear said.
U/nfurnoh explained, "[Not the A**hole]. John's reaction is enough proof you need that you made the right decision. Your story is your own. You get to choose it. No one else should pressure you to make a decision you don't want. Their happiness should not be conditional on you taking part. Stay strong."
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more