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One relaxing Sunday morning, I sat on the sofa next to my wife as we watched the F1 Italian Grand Prix. My two pugs, Cricket and Otis, snuggled on either side of me. In front of me was a laptop, my fingers typing away to create my company newsletter.
Some would say I was out of balance here — I was working on the weekend. But that's not how it felt to me. I was doing something I'm passionate about, and I didn't feel like it was taking anything away from my family. As I wrote the newsletter and cheered on the racers, I realized just how hard it is to define what people mean when they say they want work-life balance — work-life balance is what you aim for it to be.
Countless Variables in One Giant Web
Many different elements go into assessing work-life balance. You might think about the number of hours worked, always being accessible by phone, and whether the workload is voluntary.
All these variables fit together in a complex system where turning one knob can shift others, and there's a bell curve of acceptability rather than a single point. Take just hours. The standard is 40 per week. But what if you're in Paris, France, instead of New York? What if you work on a manufacturing floor instead of freelancing, starting your own business or serving as a chief financial officer? What if you're just starting your career instead of having many great years under your belt? What's acceptable to you will shift.
Let's zoom out and see how this works when looking at the big picture. Say you have two kids. You want to send them to college, but to do that, you'll have to work longer hours for a promotion or take a second job. Is this poor balance? Even though you'll have to slug it out at the office, you'll achieve your life goal of helping your kids earn a higher education.
Now imagine you've just moved to the suburbs with your partner. That move means your commute jumps from 15 minutes to an hour and a half. Your work hours go up, and you have to leave super early in the morning, but your new location means better schools for your kids, less stress and overall better quality of life. Isn't the sacrifice in time worth those gains?
For one last example, say you and your college buddy take similar jobs at the same company after you finish school. You both work the same hours, share an apartment and enjoy activities like hitting the gym together after work. Then you get a new boss. You seize the opportunity the boss gives you to shine and advance your career, and you feel like everything's going great. Your buddy, however, tells you how much you've changed and you're too focused on work. Who's right?
All of these stories demonstrate the same concept: Work-life balance is a matter of asking what's right for you. What makes sense given your personal and professional goals, stage of life, perspective, reality or even your personality? Because you're going to be working with different variables in a combination that's completely different than that of anybody else, you're the only one who can decide if you've found balance or not.
Your Point of Satisfaction Doesn't Have To Match Anyone Else's
When people talk about work-life balance, the assumption is that everybody has the same needs, resources or desires or that everyone starts from the same place. This simply isn't true. Everyone is their own person, and just as we acknowledge the beauty of that, we also ought to acknowledge that everyone should feel comfortable setting limits and boundaries on their own terms.
So if someone says you're not balanced but you feel mentally and physically awesome, let their words be water off a duck's back. In the same way, if you're desperate for a change, don't let anybody else tell you that a pivot is unnecessary or unreasonable. The key is to be internally clear about who you are and then communicate your work-life truth with as much empathy and kindness as you can. Others might not always agree with your decision, but you at least can help them understand and respect your own point of satisfaction.