Babysitter Praised for Dropping Off Kid After Refusing To Accept Low Pay

A post about an "extremely selfish" babysitter who left a child in another home after a pay dispute has gone viral on Reddit, where it received 12,500 upvotes at the time of writing.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I The A****** (AITA) subforum under the username Positive-Ad384, the 21-year-old babysitter said she agreed to babysit for a family member at a lower fee than her usual rate.

The poster said: "The child was 4, and with that age I usually charge $15 an hour, $200 a day. For this particular family member I agreed to do it for $150 a day."

But two hours into the job, the relative told the babysitter that she could only pay her $50-$80.

"This is how I make money for a living, and I gave her multiple warnings and we agreed on a price beforehand," the poster said.

The babysitter then dropped the child off at the home of another relative. The poster said: "Within a few minutes I got a text saying how unprofessional I was, and how dare I do that, that she's family and I was being extremely selfish."

Was the babysitter's actions justified? Certified life coach Nicole Moore told Newsweek that the family member offering lower pay is "100 percent in the wrong." But dropping the child off elsewhere "should have been the absolute last resort."

How Much Should I Pay a Babysitter?

Babysitting rates in the U.S. vary across the country, depending on where you're based. But the hourly rate in 2023 was reported to range from $10-$30, averaging at $15.21 per hour, based on data from thousands of babysitters from Babysits, a global babysitting services provider.

Babysitting rates in New York and Los Angeles were found to be among the highest, with the average rate ranging from $16.50 to more than $1 per hour, according to the Babysits data from 2023.

How much a babysitter should be paid varies depending on the person and the situation, such as the babysitter's knowledge and experience, the number of children they'd be looking after and other duties/tasks that the worker may be responsible for while babysitting.

It's also important to look at minimum wage to see how much a person is entitled to earn in your state. The federal minimum wage in the U.S. is currently $7.25 per hour but many states also have their own minimum wage laws.

"In cases where an employee is subject to both the state and federal minimum wage laws, the employee is entitled to the higher of the two minimum wages," the U.S. Department of Labor explains.

Some babysitting services done on a "casual basis" (when total hours worked in a week does not exceed 20 hours) are not subject to the minimum wage law, according to the Legal Information Institute (LII) of Cornell Law School.

However, if a person doing babysitting work on a casual basis devotes more than 20 percent of their time to household work during a babysitting job, "the exemption for babysitting services on a casual basis does not apply during that assignment" and the person must be paid according to minimum wage laws, the LII says.

The poster in the latest Reddit post, who's been working as a babysitter while finishing her early child education, said: "I'm very well known in my area and am professional, and have different ads for myself. I get multiple jobs a week. I don't normally babysit for family, but I agreed to..."

The user said she can't have this family member "low ball" her because "this [babysitting work] is what I live off of, I missed out on other opportunities that would pay way more..."

The babysitter said she replied to the family member and "told her I didn't understand [why she should accept the lower fee] because I told her up front already, and that I even lowered my rate for her."

When the family member ignored her, the babysitter told her that she would drop the child off at another relative's home. "She continued to ignore me so I dropped her [the child] off at this relative's sister's house, who agreed to watch her," she wrote.

'Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right'

Moore said the poster in the latest Reddit post "had every right to be upset" at the family member for only letting her know about the lower fee after she'd already started babysitting her kid. "This family member is 100 percent in the wrong and her behavior is appalling."

However, "two wrongs don't make a right," Moore noted, explaining: "I don't think it was correct for the poster to just drop the kid off at another family member's house the second that she learned her family member did not intend to pay her the full amount for her babysitting services." The reason for this is because you're dealing with a child.

Babysitting is not the type of job where you can "just quit midway" through it without causing upset to the child in most cases, she said.

Moore said children crave and need consistency and "being shuffled around from one babysitter to another family member, without warning, was likely very confusing for the child..."

Don't Give Family 'Ammo' To Deny Their Wrongdoing

Moore said that especially with family matters, "it's always best to act correctly on your side of the street" to prevent your family from using your behavior as a justification for their poor behavior.

"Don't give your family member any ammo [ammunition] to deny their own wrongdoing by focusing on yours. Stay clean on your side of the street and stay in integrity, so that your family member has no choice but to admit wrongdoing," she said.

Moore said "the poster did a great job" of trying to honor her own time, while also keeping the child safe by leaving her with a relative.

But dropping the child off somewhere else "should have been the absolute last resort," Moore said. By doing so, the poster "created a reason for the mother of the child to feel justified in withholding the money for good."

The life coach said if the poster had "continued babysitting even if her family member said she'd pay less, she could have leveraged the fact that she completed the job anyway to potentially collect all of the payment at a later date."

'This Is Her Business and Her Livelihood'

Several users on Reddit praised the original poster for standing up for herself but criticized the family member who "knew exactly what she was doing."

In a comment that got 15,300 upvotes, user warp-and-woof said the poster is "NTA [not the a******]. If the customer is unwilling to pay the price, they don't get the work. You obviously cannot just abandon a child, but you didn't do that—you took the child to a safe place and informed the parent immediately."

User _thundercracker_ noted: "Not only that—the work had already started. Try reneging with your carpenter or plumber after they've started tearing down stuff and see where that gets you. NTA," in a comment that got 5,100 upvotes.

Fatigue-Error said: "This customer knew exactly what she was doing. She planned to take advantage of OP [original poster] and assumed OP would just play along. Kudos to OP for not falling for that," in a comment that received 3,300 upvotes.

User MrsWifi said: "She was definitely counting on OP to just power through because family. But this is not 'can you watch so and so while I do this.' This is her business and her livelihood. Definitely proud of OP for not rolling over. NTA and don't babysit for family again. Indefinite solution."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

Do you have a similar family dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.