Bride-to-Be Praised for Not Asking Her Stepdad to Walk Her Down the Aisle

Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, but with an endless list of things to fall out over and emotions running high, they often bring out the worst in people and lead to family feuds.

One woman is being slammed by Mumsnet users after complaining about her daughter not asking her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, seemingly preferring to go solo.

Posting to the site's Step-parenting forum on July 26, the woman expressed disappointment that her 31-year-old daughter didn't want her stepdad to "give her away" during the ceremony.

She wrote: "My husband has bought [sic] her up and fully supported us since she was 12.

"She has a daughter who calls him granddad [and] she has no contact with her birth father.

"My daughter is not asking my husband to give her away as she doesn't want to upset her Nan (dads mum) but my husband is so upset and sad, so am I.

"I've not said anything but feel really torn. What should I do?"

The Christian tradition of the father "giving away" the bride dates back to the 1500s. In the 1549 Common Book of Prayer, from which modern Church of England ceremonies originate, the priest asks: "Who geveth this woman to be maried to this man?" The preferred choice in the text is the father, but a male friend will also suffice.

However, the concept is much older than that and spans multiple religions and cultures. Marriage expert Sheri Stritof said that in the past, weddings were viewed as an economic exchange, as opposed to a celebration of love.

They involved a dowry given to the groom's family and a bride price (gifts from the groom's family to the bride's). As the head of the household, fathers were seen as crucial to negotiating an arranged marriage, with some cultures still using this format today.

As cultural and gender norms have changed in the West, so have weddings. It's becoming more common for brides to walk themselves down the aisle and eschew this tradition due to its patriarchal roots.

Mumsnet users advised the woman not to question her daughter's decision.

"I wouldn't say or think anything really," said Rtmhwales. "I don't think it's a slight on your husband or a reflection on how your daughter feels."

Hbh17 wrote: "I don't think most independent young women would want to be 'given away' by a man - it's 2022.

"Just enjoy the day."

While SliceOfCakeCupOfTea commented: "Perhaps she doesn't feel anyone needs to give her away as she is her own person?

"I'd think about the bigger picture if you can, it's a really old fashioned tradition back when women were essentially traded. It isn't a reflection on who she sees as her family."