Dad Backed for Demanding Family Not Give His Kids Any Christmas Presents

A man refusing to let his sister buy his children Christmas presents—and won't buy any gifts for her kids—is being applauded online.

The man's sister—Mumsnet user saffy56—complained to the parenting site's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum, where the story struck a chord with readers.

In the post shared on December 14, she said her older brother used to buy her children gifts at Christmastime.

"He would usually ask what they would like but sometimes I would text him with ideas," she wrote. "My kids are teens now, but they do expect a present/money/voucher from him as has always been the norm."

However, since after getting married and having twins of his own, the gifts have stopped. He has also asked saffy56 not to buy his children presents, as they "already have enough."

"I text him saying [that] I wanted to get them something," she said. "He was adamant [that] I was not to get them anything so I respected his wishes - I waited just in case something came for my 2 and it didn't, so I pretended he sent them some money to save the disappointment."

She asked her fellow Mumsnet users if she was right to find her brother's behavior "odd." However, in the poll attached to the post, 91 percent (1155 people in total) felt that saffy56 was the one being "unreasonable."

Should You Buy a Christmas Gift if Someone Asks You Not to?

Whether you're on a tight budget or struggling to find a present for a picky mother-in-law, gift-giving can make things incredibly awkward.

But what should you do if someone asks you not to buy them a gift this year? Do you take their word at face value and risk embarrassment on Christmas Day? Or do you buy them a present anyway, and risk a confrontation?

Etiquette expert Laura Ceccherini-Windsor said it's best to respect their wishes.

"You don't make them feel uncomfortable or ill at ease," she told Newsweek. "There is a reason behind everyone's actions, and because we can't always understand the 'whys,' sometimes it is best to go with the flow."

If you still feel bad for not buying them a gift, Ceccherini-Windsor suggests sending a Christmas card instead.

"Making an effort to reach out perhaps is just as effective as receiving presents," she said. "Manners are about putting people at ease and not embarrassing others. It is not anyone's job to figure out why."

'Can't Believe You Asked for Money'

In her post, saffy56 said she didn't understand why her brother was so against gift-giving.

"He has told me not to get them anything [again this year], but this seems to mean my kids miss out. I just sent back [that] my two would like money rather than presents," she wrote.

"I understand it is his prerogative, but why since having his kids have my kids been forgotten. I still want to acknowledge his kids and want to give, but for some reason he doesn't want me to!!"

User Pictograph suggested that saffy56's brother is trying to save money.

"I can see why he doesn't want to do this, as exchanging gifts like this can get pretty tedious and expensive," getoutof said.

However, saffy56 said in the comments that his brother and his wife make "three times as much" as they do, so she doesn't believe money is the issue.

LaLuz said that saffy56 "doesn't have to understand his reasons," but needs to respect her brother's decision.

"Your kids are teens, they will get over not getting some money in a card from their uncle," FionnulaTheCooler wrote.

"He has bought presents for your kids for over 10 years. They've not missed out," Whataretheodds agreed.

"Don't make such an issue of it," hattie43 commented. "We're in a [cost of living] crisis and lots of people are cutting back."

While CFLandlordStory said: "Can't believe you asked for money for [your kids]. Why he doesn't want to isn't really any of your concern, and how much they earn has nothing to do with it."

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.