Pregnant Mom Asking Husband to Stay Home From Christmas Party Sparks Debate

A pregnant woman asking her husband to ditch his work Christmas party because she's ill has divided opinions online.

In a post to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on December 10, user Anonnnnnnnnnnnnn explained they were supposed to be attending the event together. However, her daughter caught scarlet fever, with the poster stuck at the emergency room the night before the party.

"I've slept terribly for the past two nights due to her being poorly," she wrote. "So I said I'm not feeling up to going."

Anonnnnnnnnnnnnn is also 11 weeks pregnant with her third child, and wants to take extra precautions due to suffering three miscarriages so far in 2022. Nevertheless, her husband has been looking forward to the party for ages, and wants to attend the event solo.

"It's a sit down meal, free bar etc," she said. "We also had a hotel room included.

"[Husband] is still going and wants to stay over on his own and come home in the morning."

The poster feels this is unfair, as she will have to care for both children alone while exhausted.

"I'll have to sleep with both the children (one is poorly and I always co-sleep with our toddler)," she said.

"So I'm guaranteed a bad night's sleep and had only two hours last night. [Husband] thinks this is my own fault for choosing to co-sleep."

Anonnnnnnnnnnnnn wants her husband to cancel, or go to the party and not drink so he can come home and help out.

"He thinks I'm being selfish. I think he is being selfish," she said. "[Am I being unreasonable?]"

How to Balance Parenting With a Social Life

Having a social life as a couple while raising kids may feel like an impossible task, but it is doable—if you work together.

Whether going out together or taking turns to see friends, life coach and parenting expert Stephanie O'Dea recommends putting long-term stability over short-term gratification.

"When you get married, you are building a tiny little business that you will maintain for the rest of your life," she told Newsweek.

"In a business, you do what is right for the long-term stability of the business.

"It may not sound romantic, but when you take emotion out of decision-making and act on facts instead of feelings, it's a pretty practical way to make a solid decision."

In Anonnnnnnnnnnnnn's case, O'Dea would advise that the husband skip the party to help out his wife and children.

"The husband works with these people. Regardless of how much he thinks they are his friends, they are not his soulmate," she said.

"The coworkers will ebb and flow in his life, and 20 years from now, he won't remember most of their names.

"The wife is being quite compromising, and if I were to advise her, I would carefully suggest that she is actually being a bit too compromising given all of the health details and possible ramifications."

'I'm Actually Gobsmacked'

Mumsnet users were split on the situation, with Windtunnel believing the husband has "his priorities wrong."

"The decent men I know, would not go," agreed C***Bucket. "Its really straightforward."

"Im actually gobsmacked that your [husband] is still hell bent on going out partying while your little one is so poorly," wrote CalmDownKaren.

"Unfortunately, your [husband] needs to realise that part of parenthood is missing out on fun things we've been looking forward to for a long time," said Haggisburger.

While Crimsonripple commented: "I'd be more p***** off at the fact you're 11 weeks pregnant and your husband thought it was acceptable you be in the hospital with your child with Scarlett fever."

However, others felt the poster was being unreasonable, with Trollsintheforest saying: "Of course he should go."

"Surely one night feeling tired with a poorly child is doable?" asked MistyRock.

"No point in both of you missing out, but I'd definitely be handing the children over to him from when he gets home till the next morning," said FavouriteFruits.

"He's been looking forward to it for ages and you're capable of looking after two children," commented girlmom21. "Yes it's a bit c*** that one's unwell but these things happen."

Sadly, Anonnnnnnnnnnnnn isn't the only one to deal with Christmas party drama.

A Mumsnet user was berated by the forum earlier this month for "overreacting" to a racy joke her husband made at his office party, embarrassing him in front of his colleagues, while a Redditor was chastised for trying to change the dress code at her mother-in-law's Christmas party so she could wear sweat pants.

If it's you that's humiliated yourself at a Christmas party this year, don't panic—we asked an expert about how you should deal with cringeworthy moments this festive season.

Have you had a Christmas dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money, and work, and your story could be featured on Newsweek's "What Should I Do? section.