Dad Backed for Refusing to Pay for Polyamorous Stepson's Partners on Trip

The internet has defended a father after he refused to pay for his son's partners' plane tickets.

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum, a man under the anonymous username u/Useful_Blacksmith273 shared his story in order to receive the opinions of the "AITA" community.

The original poster (OP) began his story by explaining that he has been planning on taking his family to Hawaii to renew vows with his wife for their 25th anniversary. He said he's been saving up for 10 years for the trip.

He decided he wanted to pay for his kids and a plus-one—their significant others—to go with them and is also paying for his mom, stepdad and mother-in-law. However, he explained that his stepson is in a polyamorous relationship where he lives with one woman and two men.

He wrote that he loved his stepson and that his relationship is "none of his business," but that he will only pay for one of his stepson's partners.

He wrote, "I told him to pick one. I don't care if he brings his girlfriend or a boyfriend. But he only gets one extra guest. I said they were absolutely welcome to join us and that I would give him the money for the two tickets and hotel room and he could figure out how best to get them all there."

"He called [me] a cheap a****** and said I was excluding him because of how he lives. He is a waiter and doesn't make a lot of money. The other people in his relationship are all lower income as well," he continued.

The stepson refused to go on the vacation and wanted the money the OP would have spent on the two tickets, but the OP said no and now his stepson isn't speaking to him.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Useful_Blacksmith273 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

What is a "polyamorous relationship?"

"Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of all people involved," Eric FitzMedrud, a private practice therapist told Newsweek, "The word polyamory comes from the Greek root poly, meaning many and the Latin root amory, meaning love."

If a person comes out to their family and friends that they are in a polyamorous relationship, their goal is to be accepted, understood and feel supported.

FitzMedrud added that the most common negative reaction to a polyamorous relationship is that some people relate it to cheating due to similar situations in the past. He also suggests not assuming a person that is polyamorous is attempting to threaten or break up your relationship or wanting you to become polyamorous.

"It is OK for you to know that you couldn't be in a polyamorous relationship. But polyamory is not cheating because polyamory is defined as more than one relationship with the consent of the people involved," he told Newsweek.

Redditor reactions

"[Not the a******]. I don't even get how he can [think] of asking for the money you would have [spent] on hotel and tickets," u/Primary-Criticism929 wrote, receiving the top comment of over 13,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a******] but the stepson is a seriously entitled a****** for first expecting more than a +1, and second for demanding the financial equivalent of a trip he turned down," u/Johnny-Fakehnameh said.

U/mikesspoiledwife began, "[Not the a******]. You have saved up for 10 years to take your wife and family on this wonderful vacation, you are being more than generous in allowing your kids to bring their SO and for your son to do this is ludicrous. He is acting like a spoiled brat. He was offered 2 tickets not cash."

"He can make a choice either go on vacation with 1 other person of his choice or not go. This is your anniversary celebration not his celebration. He gets nothing but the tickets. Congratulations and I hope you have a great time," the commenter continued.

"[Not the a******]. You gave each kid a +1guest. Just because he decided to be with 3 other people, doesn't mean that [he's] entitled to have them all. You don't owe anything to him," u/blueaqua_12 commented.