Woman Criticizing Friend for Earning Same as Husband Without Degree Slammed

A 26-year-old woman on Reddit has been deemed an a**hole on the subgroup "Am I The A**hole" after describing a recent lunch date with a high school friend at which she criticized her life choices.

In the post, user Ambitious_Ad_5389 describes how her friend Diana, also 26, has been "too busy" to meet up or have "long phone calls" because she has been studying for her master's degree in another city.

"During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family," says the original poster. "I asked her about her degree, work prospects, etc. (She did her masters in translation or interpreting or something like that) and she said she got the job but will have to move to Brussels. I told her that's crazy. If she can't find a job locally, then her degree was a waste of time if she has to move to another country."

After Diana defended her choice and explained that it's an "amazing job opportunity," the OP then took aim at her salary.

"I said that my husband earns that without a degree so I was right about the waste of time and money...she could've gotten a similar job here and wouldn't have wasted 6 years and instead could've already work and start a family."

The OP then claims Diana was rude, saying: "She threw in my face that apparently I'm always complaining about my husband but I'm criticizing her, he's the best husband in the world. I told her she's ridiculous and mean and she called me an a**hole, paid and left the restaurant. I told my friends about this and they're split in who's the asshole here so tell me, Aita for telling her the truth?"

Friendships are essential to our wellbeing, and a 2021 study of 323,200 people from 99 countries and published in Frontiers in Psychology found that valuing friendship was associated with better health, greater happiness and higher levels of subjective wellbeing across cultures.

Speaking to Newsweek, San Francisco-based licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach Andrea Dindinger said long-term friendships can be hard to navigate "and often bring out the best and worst in all of us."

"Whenever people care about each other and grow in different directions and at different paces, conflict will arise, especially if, like the Reddit poster here, there are big long gaps in their communication and connection points," she said.

We choose friends who have the ability and inclination to see and validate us, however in this instance, as Dindinger points out, the original poster: "Devalued the diversity of their friend's paths and sadly each felt negatively judged.

"I often witness people using passive-aggressive comments as a way to make contact with their loved ones, almost fighting their way back to connection. The original poster was guilty of this and perhaps unconsciously hoping that her friend would have been vulnerable with her and talked it through instead of walking out on the lunch and friendship."

User LadyGreyIcedTea said: "And it's a serious wonder why Diana didn't have time for long phone calls with OP while she was in her masters program."

User LingonberryPrior6896 wrote: "Sounds like Diana has outgrown OP intellectually."

User limperatrice, commented: "The "I've managed to get married and start a family" like she thinks she's one upped her friend made me laugh."

User sZYphYn wrote: "Yeah but if you're not a mother you wouldn't understand Lol OP is so deluded, I almost hope it's satire."

Newsweek reached out to u/Ambitious_Ad_5389 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.