🎙️ Voice is AI-generated. Inconsistencies may occur.
The internet has slammed a dad-to-be for asking a man with autism to give up his seat on the subway for his pregnant partner.
Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the username u/A**hole-aficionado shared his story in order to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 6,400 upvotes and 2,600 comments.
The original poster (OP) began their story by explaining that they recently started taking the underground—also known as the subway in the U.S.—and that his partner, who he describes as "not particularly mobile," is eight months pregnant. They use the underground as a way for her to rest when they are traveling between destinations.
When they take crowded trips on the subway, OP would always try to find seats near the doors marked for people with disabilities. When it was packed, he would kindly ask the person sitting if they could stand so his partner could sit. He wrote that he normally didn't have a problem and people would oblige.
OP explained where the conflict began: "On this particular day, one of the seats is occupied by an elderly gentleman with a walking stick (probably mid-80s) and one by a younger man (probably mid-20s). I make what I think is my best judgement call and ask the younger man if he would give up the seat for my partner. He replies that he has autism and that his disability allows him to use a priority seat too.
"I do understand that people have less visible disabilities and that under normal circumstances, he should be allowed to use the priority seat. However, I also felt that despite this, it wasn't a physical impairment and he was more capable of standing than my partner who had been stood up for a long time and really needed to rest at this point. When I tried to explain this to him, he became very defensive and called me an a**hole for not appreciating his needs too," he continued.
The argument was heard throughout the train and someone eventually gave up their seat for his partner to sit down.
Newsweek reached out to u/A**hole-aficionado for comment.
What is the ADA?
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 61 million adults are living with a disability.
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became law in 1990, and protects those with disabilities against discrimination on transportation, at work, in school and in other places open to the public. The act is meant to help people living with disabilities to have the same rights and opportunities as everyone else.
The ADA has helped make public places more accessible for people with disabilities by having ADA standards that include using new additions and alterations such as grab bars in bathrooms and ramps for those in wheelchairs, according to access-board.gov.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding disabilities, including how a woman was backed online after refusing to take care of her disabled sister to focus on her career and how the internet sided with a man who told a woman "it's good" she can't have kids.
Redditor reactions
U/HanaBothWays received over 14,000 upvotes for their comment. "Yes, [you're the a**hole]," they started. "You should have left it alone after that young man said he was disabled and needed the seat. Autism can be comorbid (occur together with) sensory, anxiety, and/or motor function issues that might make it difficult or overwhelming to be in crowded spaces or stand in a moving vehicle.
"It's very possible that this young man might have had trouble standing up on a moving train, that he could be easily overwhelmed and suffer panic attacks from unwanted physical contact and crowded conditions, or both. Not everyone with autism spectrum disorder has these issues but a lot of people do and yeah, if they do, they need a seat on the bus or the train," the commenter continued.
"[You're the a**hole] Asking was fine. Arguing makes you the a**hole. Unless you are that specific person's care provider and are 100% certain of their limitations, your opinion/observations mean s**t. I have an invisible disability, and people like you are the bane of my existence. If your partner is that tired and unwell, get a cab, wait for a less busy train, whatever," u/Andante79 exclaimed.
"[You're the a**hole], not for initially asking the guy to move but for trying to get him to move after he said he needed the seat. It's not up to you to decide what disabilities are worthy of priority seating. You could've asked someone in a regular seat to move for your partner," u/cr0wj4ne commented.
U/Dr_Buzzworth explained, "[You're the a**hole] - Bro, is there a list printed somewhere that ranks which disabilities have the most priority on a priority seating? You're arguing with someone who you said 'should be allowed to use the priority seat' about your version of a priority system that doesn't exist. Equal rights bro, he said no, you didn't respect his answer. That's why [you're the a**hole]."
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more