Fury as Mother-in-Law Announces the Birth of Her Grandchild Before Parents

The internet has dragged a woman for announcing the birth of her grandchild on social media before the parents could do it for themselves.

In a post shared on Mumsnet this March under the username Grumpynewmum23, the woman's daughter-in-law wrote that her mother-in-law decided to announce the birth of the child before anyone else could. This came after a very traumatic birth, and a pregnancy that the poster kept secret for "fear of losing the baby."

"After gathering thoughts together, [my partner] and I decide we want to announce [the] arrival of our first child to friends and family on Facebook," the poster explained. "I go and open up Facebook and see [my mother-in-law] has posted a picture of our baby (sent by [my partner] just to family, which I hadn't even seen at this point) announcing the arrival of 'her grand[child]' that 'just happened.'"

According to Earth Web, even though Facebook usage is in decline and 15 million users have left the platform since 2017, almost 60 percent of the American population still uses the social-media network. Moreover, 193.9 million Americans use Facebook every month.

The poster wrote that neither she nor her partner was tagged or even mentioned in the post and that she didn't contact her at all before publishing the photo: "At the time I was too in shock and exhausted to even really take it in, but as the initial shock of the birth wore off I've just felt increasingly angry about it and literally cannot shake it off."

John Sovec is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Pasadena, California. He told Newsweek that the birth of a new child is one of the most sacred and private moments that a family can experience.

However, often in the middle of that precious experience, a well-meaning family member may step out of line in their excitement over the new child coming into the world. They may start sharing the birth announcement without checking in with the parents first.

Sovec said: "This can feel like even more of a betrayal because our families are some of the most important places we turn to in times of need and support. When these boundaries are crossed, it can feel personal, painful, and disrespectful.

"It's important in a moment like this, when feelings are hurt and emotions are running high, to slow down and express your concerns, your perspective on the incident, and a desire to set healthy boundaries going forward," Sovec said. "Focus on bringing an energy of kindness when addressing the crossed boundary. At the same time, honestly express how it felt and what types of behavior are expected and needed in the future."

According to Sovec, the poster should clarify her needs moving forward, focusing on more positive interactions in the future. "By implementing a simple, direct approach, you may be surprised at your family member's understanding and appreciation of the how this moment felt from your perspective," Sovec added.

More than 83 percent of all the 1,971 users who voted on the Am I Being Unreasonable poll thought the poster was not being unreasonable.

User chezpopbang wrote: "No tips for getting over it I'm sorry but that is not on good form at all!! I would be very angry if my [mother-in-law] did this. Have you spoken to her about it?"

GPFavo posted: "I think you're overreacting to be 'incensed' by this but I understand why you're annoyed. I'd file this in the 'it's annoying but it's done camp' and move on. Like you said, she didn't tag you so your friends and family won't have seen it so it hasn't impacted your announcement. It was poor etiquette but not really all that important. She was wrong but does it actually matter? I hope your recovery is going ok and congratulations."

Ting20161987 wrote: "Mine did this. I had only just got out of [the] theatre, not told my family yet and she had announced the birth of my little one, how the labor went, weight, sex, and name.....and tagged us in it! My daughter is 8 now, I am still not over it. I only found out so quickly as my phone was blowing up and my husband looked and people were congratulating me. I was only just coming round. Sorry you have experienced the same, It's an incredibly selfish move. No one has the right to announce the birth of anyone's child."

Letstaketotheskies added: "Next time something important happens she doesn't get to be on the list of people who get told first. Tell her when you're ready to announce to the world. Send her an individual message at the same time to be diplomatic."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.