Fury as Son-In-Law Snubs Family Christmas After Not Getting Personal Invite

A married couple has been ridiculed for refusing to attend the annual Christmas family gathering because they were not sent separate invitations.

According to the wife, who detailed the situation in a Reddit post shared under the handle LukeProblem135, her husband Luke felt her parents had been "rude and disrespectful" in only sending her an invitation that included his name.

As a result, they later informed her parents they would not be attending unless he was sent a "proper invitation." The demand was met with a furious response with the woman's mom branding the request "ridiculous" while her dad claimed Luke was pulling a "power move to humiliate them."

Unfortunately for the woman posting the problem online, the vast majority on social media appeared to agree with her parents, slamming her husband's response and her willingness to go along with it.

Though it's a common trope, the fact is that most people get along pretty well with their in-laws. One study, conducted by researchers from Purdue University, found that the vast majority of newlyweds had positive ties with their partner's parents at the start of their marriages.

But things can quickly go wrong, as the case of Luke and his in-laws demonstrates. According to his wife, while things have been civil," there's always this ongoing tension between them."

That tension boiled over after she was sent an invitation to her parents' annual Christmas celebration. Luke was furious at not receiving his own separate invite and that his name was mentioned as an "extension" to his wife's.

When she asked her parents if they could do this, they flat-out refused. She pleaded with them, explaining that Luke "can be sensitive" and a simple text invite would suffice.

But her parents stood their ground, prompting the woman to tell her mom and dad she would not attend if he did not receive the additional invite.

Other family members soon weighed in with her sister telling her Luke needed to "get over himself" and she needed to stop enabling his behavior. Luke and his wife have been disinvited from the Christmas celebration, with the woman admitting that the entire situation has left her feeling "horrible."

Ruth E Freeman, the founder of Peace At Home Parenting Solutions, told Newsweek that while the family's ire appeared to be being directed at Luke, in truth his was just one of several "power struggles" that appeared to be taking place.

Ultimately, she said the woman's first mistake was to make the problem her own.

"If her husband has a request for his in-laws, ask him to communicate it directly. This issue is between him and them," she said.

Freeman also urged her to "refrain from responding to power struggles with a new power struggle, like refusing to attend if they won't do as she asks."

She also suggested that when other family members get involved and try to shame her, it is better to "withdraw from the conflict." She said: "It won't get better by arguing."

"This couple may benefit from therapy focusing on practicing non-blameful communication and finding ways for Luke to support his wife's relationship with her family," she added.

"Going all the way back to the beginning, she might have said to her husband something like, 'I see that you are really hurt not to get your own invite. It would mean a lot to me if you'd choose to come anyway. If not, I will feel awful being torn between being with you and with my whole family on the holiday.'

"It is not unusual to respond to feeling hurt by trying to hurt the other person back, but revenge breaks families apart, sometimes for generations. The alternative is to learn to feel our feelings deeply and recognize that we are in fact powerless to force people to do what we want."

Perhaps unsurprisingly, those commenting on social media were focused less on reconciliation.

"This isn't about the invitation. Luke just doesn't want to go. Your choice is to stay with him, or go without him, but your parents don't have to issue Lukie Wubbie his own special private invitation," Straight-Singer-2912 wrote. "And think hard - is this really the only time he kicks up a fuss, or do you tiptoe around a LOT of things."

MrDarcysDead asked: "I want to know how you and Luke sent out wedding invitations. Did every person invited get their own? Were they sent to couples? Once they knew the names of the +1s, did they send invitations directly to them as well?"

Puzzleheaded-Gas1710 commented: "This is not a two sided issue. He is isolating his wife who is so used to tip-toeing around him and his nonsense that she can't tell where the problem began."

Newsweek reached out to u/lukeproblem135 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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