Woman Refusing To Spend Christmas With Partner's 'Welcoming Family' Dragged

The internet has dragged a woman who refuses to spend Christmas with their partner's family.

In a post on London-based internet forum Mumsnet on Monday, user Volumous explained that she had avoided going to her partner's family for Christmas for several years.

"His mom appears to be getting offended that I don't go, and keeps asking my partner why or making little comments about it," said the poster. "The reason why is that I find it extremely overwhelming and uncomfortable. They're a welcoming family and we all get on well, but I find it difficult. I don't have any warm, fuzzy, excited feelings towards Christmas because I grew up in a dysfunctional household where Christmas was mostly spent treading on eggshells."

While it may be the "most wonderful time of the year," not everyone loves Christmas. In fact, a 2020 poll of 12,929 U.S. adults in 2020 found that while 52 percent of people said they like Christmas a lot, 13 percent said they neither liked nor disliked the festive season and 9 percent said they disliked Christmas.

The Mumsnet user explained that her partner's family are very close and have a busy Christmas celebration.

"On Christmas Day there will be 10 members of extended family at his parents' house all day, followed by the same people and more over to his aunt's house on Boxing Day," she explained. "Lots of competitive games involved, drinking, family banter, etc. I have to pretend to be happy and love Christmas for 2-3 days solid. It's probably weird I know, but I just don't like it. I don't drink, and just want to sit by the fire and read or paint and be quiet and cozy on my days off."

Florence Ann Romano, author of the upcoming book Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life, told Newsweek: "The word 'should' shouldn't be used surrounding the holidays. Everyone gets to make up their own rules about how they celebrate and with whom. This season tends to come with many obligations, and there have to be places where you choose what is best for you while you're trying to fit everything and everyone else in."

But online, people were less forgiving about the woman's dilemma. The post received over 120 replies as many dragged her for never going to spend Christmas with her partner's family.

"You are being unreasonable," said one commenter. "You might have valid feelings about your own past Christmas, but your partner's family Christmas sounds really lovely. Don't you want to make new Christmas memories?"

Another Mumsnet user wrote: "I think you're being a bit unreasonable. It sounds like they have a nice time and you never know—you might enjoy it!"

"I don't particularly love going to my in-laws at Christmas but I do it because I love my husband, they are nice people—just not my cup of tea—who make an effort, and I'd hate them to think I disliked them so much that I'd rather be alone," said another commenter.

"I don't think there has to be a 'normal' for anyone during the holidays. As magical and merry as the season might be, it can be extremely challenging for many people," said Romano. "She could perhaps try baby steps. Maybe she goes for an hour this year and her partner makes the family aware of this arrangement. He also explains that no one is to make her feel guilty for the length of time of her stay."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.