Groom Uninviting Father Who Refuses to Pay Dragged Online: 'Entitled'

A man who uninvited his father from his wedding after he refused to pay is being slammed online.

After sharing his story to Reddit on October 24, u/Plus-Independent3718 was criticized by users for cutting anyone who "disagrees" with them from the guest list, including his parents.

Since being shared, the post has received more than 4,000 upvotes and over 900 comments from Redditors slamming the poster's "nuclear" reaction to "minor" conflicts.

'The Real Issue Isn't About Money'

According to research by wedding planning website The Knot, the average cost of a U.S. wedding in 2021 was $28,000. However, prices also varies by state. New Jersey weddings are the most expensive, with an average cost of $47,000, while Wyoming ceremonies are the cheapest, costing $15,800 on average.

The 2018 American Wedding Study, conducted by Brides.com, found that the number of parents helping to cover wedding costs had increased from the previous year. Forty-two percent of engaged couples surveyed said their parents had footed the whole bill for their wedding, while 31 percent said their parents had contributed financially in some form.

Although arguments over finances are common among families, Chase Cassine—relationship expert and behavioral health specialist at DePaul Community Health Centers—told Newsweek that money isn't always the root cause.

"[In this case], it sounds like the real issue isn't about money, but rather emotional invalidation and boundary violation," he said.

"When a person's feelings and experiences are minimized, rejected or ignored, this is called emotional invalidation.

"Often, in avoidant family systems, this toxic behavior is used by parents for a plethora of reasons like feeling the issue is unimportant, their own discomfort around feelings, or trying to control the situation," Cassine said.

"What may seem like a way to 'turn the other cheek' can actually quite detrimental to a person's psyche. It can make that person believe their emotional outlook on a situation is irrational, insignificant and trivial, further leading to a state of confusion and self-doubt."

Although it shares similarities to gaslighting, parents who emotionally invalidate aren't actively trying to manipulate their child, but often have their own unhealthy ways of addressing conflict.

Instead of acting in the moment or cutting off family members straight away, Cassine recommends taking time to process your emotions, so the argument can be addressed in a "constructive way."

"Conflict is normal and healthy," he said.

'So Much Unnecessary Drama'

In his post, Plus-Independent3718 wrote that he and his fiancée are planning their wedding. He decided to uninvite his mother after she comments about his bride-to-be "behind their back" while tipsy.

"She had made some jokes behind our back about my fiancee's appearance/style and saying she was never going to be anything more than a stay at home mom," he wrote.

"I was furious and uninvited her. A couple of people told me I was being an a****** as it was a one time thing she said not thinking it would get back to us."

Plus-Independent3718's mom has since apologized for her comments, but is still uninvited from the wedding. After finding out that he had uninvited his mother (they are no longer together), the poster's father confronted him.

"He said what she said wasn't nice but realistically people s*** talk and gossip, and I should give her the chance to apologize and move on," the poster wrote.

"I explained that I can't let someone who feels that way come to our wedding, and he said I was being ridiculous. He said he was no longer going to pay for our wedding if I was going to treat my mom like that."

However, since uninviting his parents, his dad and stepmom have been telling people that the poster "feels entitled" to his father's money, and are "arrogant" for dropping anyone who "disagrees" with them.

After Plus-Independent3718 said his fiancée "makes fun" of his mom regularly, Redditors criticized the poster.

"Does no one actually talk to each other like adults in your family?" asked Creepy-Bag-5913.

Notafacisimile agreed, writing: "Unless there's more to the story and your parents' actions that you're not telling, you're being unreasonable and jumping the gun."

Jolly_Tooth7274 wrote his father's response was "nuclear," but that Plus-Independent3718 was doing the exact same thing by cutting off his parents.

"Your father shouldn't have held money over your head. But the funny thing is, he is doing for your mother the same thing you're doing for your fianceé."

Redditor lexiturtle felt everyone involved was in the wrong, commenting: "Your mom sucks for the unnecessary and mean spirited comment. Your dad sucks for overreacting and pulling the money.

"You suck for overreacting and being trigger happy on pulling the uninvited card. So much unnecessary drama, I hope you have other ways of coping with and handling other areas of your life that don't go the way you want."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Plus-Independent3718. We were not able to verify the details of this case.