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An allowance gives children some financial independence but a Redditor aired her grievances when she learned that her husband, who is unemployed, was taking their son's allowance money to spend on himself.
SugarRush599's post on Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" in which she describes the situation has garnered more than 9,000 votes and more than 1,000 comments.
"I discovered by accident that my husband has been taking the money from our son to buy his own stuff like cigarettes or a drink," she wrote. "He'd approach our son whenever he has money and tell him he'll buy him what he wants but ends up spending the money on something else, something for him not our son."
The Redditor explained that her husband offers to buy their son something with his allowance money but does not come back with his son's requests. She wrote that this went on for two months before her son told her.
"Turns out my husband asked not to tell mommy because she'd get mad at him and he'll be in trouble and promised to get him his stuff but he never does," SugarRush599 wrote.
The couple had an argument, and her husband claimed to get their son what he wanted most of the time. He said what he takes can be considered "gas money," but the Redditor would not budge.
"I shamed him for taking advantage of our son and taking the money that was meant for him and said he was acting like a thief but worse when stealing from his own son," she wrote.
SugarRush599 told her husband that she would no longer hand their son his allowance money and would handle his needs. Her husband argued that she was busy with work and suggested that their son would resent her if she stopped handing him money.
"He keeps calling me heartless and financially controlling to take away the allowance," she concluded.
Commenters raised a few different concerns about the situation.
"I think your problem is way deeper than the allowance issue," a Redditor commented. "What your husband is doing is a real breach of trust."
Another wrote that it wasn't just "stealing" that SugarRush599 should be concerned about, but that her husband asked their son to keep secrets from his mother.
"What happens if another adult does something and tells the kid to keep it a secret? He'll think it's normal since his dad does the same thing," one comment read.
Some commenters wrote that they've spoken to their own children and said that fun surprises with a happy ending may be kept as a "secret," but there are other secrets that can be dangerous and may hurt someone.
Other commenters wrote that they identified with what SugarRush599's son may have been dealing with.
One commenter wrote that their mother stole birthday money and paychecks when they were young, but it escalated over the years. They wrote that they discovered their mother took out education loans in their name to purchase a car and to go on vacation.
"This is just the start," the Redditor wrote. "It's worse than a breach of trust, it shows how little he values his son, disrespects his wife, and has no qualms stealing, lying and manipulating."
A fellow commenter echoed the sentiment and wrote that their own father stole their pocket money before that also began to take a turn for the worse. They wrote that their father emptied their savings account, remortgaged their home by forging the Redditor's mother's signature and spent the money on gambling.
"Mum only realized when the bank took our house and made us homeless," they wrote. "OP, you need to be very vigilant about your husband's finances and check every account you have. Stealing from his own child is probably only the tip of the iceberg, and I would not trust this man with anything."
About the writer
Catherine Ferris is a Newsweek reporter based in New York. Her focus is reporting for the U.S. Trends Team. She ... Read more