'Leave Him': Man Slammed for Telling Fiancée to Pay for His Medical Bills

The internet has slammed a man for telling his fiancée to pay his medical bills in order to save money for their future apartment together.

Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum, a woman under the anonymous throwaway account, u/Throwaway5767411, shared her story to receive feedback from the "AITA" followers.

The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she and her fiancé have equal-paying jobs and continue to split their finances until marriage. However, she admitted that he doesn't pay for anything. Some examples she gave were him not paying when they go out to eat and if their apartment needs any maintenance or furniture.

When confronting her fiancé about this, he tells her he's saving up for a new apartment for them. She explains that he's been "saving" for two years. While half his salary goes to saving, the other half is spent on gaming devices, and he tells her that it's "his money."

Recently, OP drove her fiancé to the hospital to get his ankle looked at since it was bothering him for some time. While at the hospital, he asked her to pay the medical bills.

She wrote, "I asked why not him and he brought up the new apartment he's been saving for again. I had it, especially after he threatened to not add my name to the new apartment's title if I refuse to help him out. I snapped and told him to pay for himself and stop using my money with the apartment excuse then I left.

"He had to pay but was furious saying I'd let him down in his time of struggle," she continued. "Also said that my attitude isn't partner material. I told him I felt like he was using the new apartment to spend my money but he said I had no empathy or sense of [responsibility] to support and help him out when he...is doing me a huge favor and buying me an entire freaking apartment."

After calling her "selfish" and "negative," he refused to talk to her.

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwaway5767411 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding money conflicts including a husband who refused to pay for his kids, a father who paid for his daughter's college fees but not his stepchild's and a woman who refused to give her parents money after they lost theirs to scams.

Paying bills as a couple

Leslie Tayne, a financial attorney, author and founder of Tayne Law Group, told Newsweek about how to pay bills as a married couple.

"Always discuss the bill, so everyone is in the know. Find a time that works for both and go over when and how much the overall bills are and who is responsible for actually submitting the payments. You can also both pay the bills directly with individual funds. Regardless of who pays the bill, the other important part is total expenses, how it's split, and where the funds are kept," Tayne said.

She suggested using payment sites including Venmo or Zelle to split large expenses including mortgage payments or rent. Tayne also said that alternating payments can work as well.

While having separate bank accounts is ok for paying bills as a couple could split what they pay for, she said, sometimes it's good to open a joint account for that purpose, depending on the couple and their finances.

"While everything doesn't have to be 50/ 50, it's important to have a discussion to ensure everyone feels happy and not taken advantage of in any way," Tayne said.

Redditor reactions

"[Not the a******] You are being used. 100% when he has enough money for the apartment, he dumps you. Stop footing the bill. Leave him," u/Status_Pattern7539 urged OP, receiving the top comment of over 17,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a******]...also honey.. He hasn't saved for an apartment. He'll have an excuse when the time comes. Don't marry this user. You're worth more," u/Background-Pitch9339 wrote.

"[Not the a******]. Ask him how much he's saved up by now. Ask for a timeline on this supposed new apartment. Tell him you'll start saving up to pay half of it. And let him know you expect him to start pulling his weight on the everyday spending from now on," u/MiddleCommercial3633 said.

U/Hemenucha commented, "[Not the a******]. This is who he is, and marriage won't change him. Thank God you're seeing him for who he really is BEFORE you bind yourself to him legally. Believe the red flag he's waving in front of your face and RUN."