Grandparents Backed for Starting New Life Away From Family: 'Their Dream'

A mom-of-two has taken to the internet to express her concerns about her elderly parents' decision to move seven hours away.

In a viral post on U.K. based discussion site Mumsnet, user Smarshian, wrote a lengthy post explaining how "gutted" she is about the move.

But respondents are behind her parents, in their 70s, and encourage the original poster to be "happy" for them as they are "following their dream."

Smarshian wrote: "The place looks amazing and it really is a wonderful place to be, but I am so gutted that they won't be around to see the kids more often and just to see them myself. They are not young and have not thought about how they might need help in years to come."

She also admits she may be "less inclined to help" her parents if they move back in ten years.

The viral post has received more than 170 comments since being posted on August 31; many of which are backing the grandparents.

User, FineWordsForAPorcupine wrote: "Wow. OK, I'm going to assume you're saying that because, right now, you're hurt and feel rejected. But you can't honestly mean that you'll cut off your parents in their old age solely because they didn't give up a lifelong dream in order to provide 'childcare and help' during 'the odd hour to get a haircut' as much as you think they should."

Very Well Family, an online resource providing information about pregnancy and parenting states: "It is important for parents to be considerate in what they ask from grandparents so that child care doesn't come at the cost of an amicable relationship. To prevent this scenario, an honest discussion is recommended to share desires and expectations about babysitting."

The poster said: "I'm not going to be horribly unhappy in my life if [my mother] moves away, and I want her to have and love her own life. I think the thing that worries me most is that she thinks she will still have the same relationship with me and the darling children. We just will not visit. And I don't mean that as us making a point, we just don't have loads of holidays to use to do it."

Smarshian explains that the move has been in the pipeline for ten years but she "never thought they would actually do it."

User, Aquamarine1029, said: "I understand but your mum has her own life and her own dreams she wants to fulfill. She can't live just for you and your kids."

Another user, Cloudonthemountains, agreed: "As you get older, you become more aware of the limited time you have left. That doesn't half focus the mind on achieving your own dreams. Living a life where you dismiss your own dreams for what you think is someone else's happiness, is no life.

"To flip your theory on its head, our children would never want us to stay close to them at the expense of us living our own fulfilled lives."

However, some commenters have admitted they couldn't leave their family.

Mumsnet user, 80smum said: "As much as I would yearn to go and fulfil my dream and move to my dream home, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to seek my own happiness at the expense of someone else's.

"I'm not saying that the original poster's mum shouldn't go where her heart desires, just that I would feel bad if pursuing my own dream caused another person's life to be less happy. Knowing that would take away all of the joy, for me."

These days long-distance grandparents can stay in touch with their families via smart phones.

Gransnet, a social networking site for over 50s, has advised those who live far away to schedule regular video calls and send letters with photos.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.