Man Backed for 'Leaving Girlfriend Stranded' to Watch Sports at Bar

A man received support for leaving his girlfriend and her friends "stranded" at a pumpkin patch after he decided to watch sports at a nearby bar.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Timely-Ask-1327, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A******" forum where it received over 11,400 upvotes and 2,500 comments. The post can be found here.

Communicate in Private

Founder of SoCal Couples Therapy Courtney Shen DeShetler, PsyD, told Newsweek that although tough, this is a common problem couples face. But while it is important to communicate feelings in a healthy way, DeShetler said "timing is everything."

"When a couple experiences tension or conflict in front of other people, (especially in-laws, children, or friends), it just magnifies the conflict and feelings involved," DeShetler said. "That can make it difficult to effectively communicate feelings and needs to one another in the moment and in public."

Instead, DeShetler recommends the hurt partner wait for a moment when they are not around other people, especially friends or family members. She also said she encourages individuals to give their partner the "benefit of the doubt" that they didn't intend to hurt the other person.

"Once each partner has developed a better understanding of the other's perspective in this situation, they can come up with a subtle signal to give one another the next time they are feeling ignored in public," DeShetler said. "So the more comfortable partner can be more mindful in the moment."

When an individual feels left out in a particular social situation, it can often lead to feeling dismissed or unimportant.

DeShelter recommends that the individual who is more familiar with the social group include their partner in conversation. In doing so, the less familiar partner may feel more at ease and comfortable within the group.

"On the other hand, any sign that you are dismissing or excluding the less comfortable partner can often negatively impact them by leading them to feel unimportant to you or not good enough for you in some way," DeShetler said.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for leaving my girlfriend 'stranded' when she chose to ignore me?" the 27-year-old OP said he went to a pumpkin patch with his girlfriend of six months, 22, and her friends.

"I was told it was a couples thing but I was the only guy there. That's fine," the post read. "I am okay with her friends. I am past the whole cutesy date thing but I like making her happy."

But the OP said every time he tried to join in on their conversation, his girlfriend and her friends ignored him.

"Every time I tried to join a conversation or spend time with my girlfriend I got frozen out. Like I was intruding," the post read.

He said that when he asked her to go in the corn maze with him, she acted like he was "some creepy guy at a bar" and had her friends join before splitting away from him inside the maze.

When he noticed, he said he texted his girlfriend that she had five minutes to respond or that he would leave to watch the Seahawks game. He added that she could get a ride back with her friends.

'Chose to Ignore Me'

"I was literally watching the second quarter before she responded," the post read. "It took her that long to notice that I was gone. She said her friend would have to drive really far out of her way to drop her off and that I should come get her."

He told her he was drinking and couldn't drive and said he would pay for an Uber to get her home.

The next day, he woke up to about 50 texts from his girlfriend and her friends upset that he left without telling anyone.

"I did tell her. She just chose to ignore me," the post read. "I'm kind of pissed that I wasted all that gas and time and we never even got to actually spend time together. I'm upset with her and her b******* friends. AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 2,400 users commented on the post, many supporting the OP for leaving his girlfriend and her friends.

"NTA. She literally just used you as a free ride to her friends get together," one user commented. "Would not even be surprised if the girls were planning something [shady] and got upset that you showed up. You are over the cutesy phase so i assume you guys are not together for long. If so, dump her. She is just using you until something better shows up. Couples don't act like this."

"In my opinion she kind of tricked you into coming there and after you went she iced you out and ignored you, which is not okay," another commented. "You gave her a heads up before leaving as well. Technically she was not stranded as she had other company, had you left her alone this would be a different situation."

"NTA if this was me I would be single in the morning," another commented.

"Based on your version of events, NTA. But I'd be $$ there's a whole lot you left out," another user commented. "Also, don't date 22 year olds and expect maturity lol."

"Your girl doesn't sound like she's matured yet + she's with her girls so they'll have been feeding into her innocence in this argument which won't help so she won't admit she's wrong," another commented.

But some users mentioned that the OP should have better communicated his feelings to his girlfriend.

"This will clearly be unpopular but ESH. It's bad manners to exclude your date from the group so she is the AH. But you did not communicate with her your feelings, you just stormed off like a child," one user commented. "You say you were trying to get her alone. Did you use actual words to communicate this? 'Hey babe, could I have a word alone for a sec?'"

"I believe in come together leave together in general. So I would not have left with out her confirmation," another commented. "She brought you in to a stupid situation though."

Newsweek reached out to u/Timely-Ask-1327 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

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