Man Bashed for Asking Friend To Move Picture of Kiss That Offends His Wife

A man is being bashed for asking his friend to move a picture of his wedding kiss because it upsets his wife.

The man, u/Throw55257765, shared his side of the story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA******. He earned 17,500 upvotes and 7,600 comments for his post, "[Am I the A**hole] for asking my friend to move a picture of him and his wife because it made my wife uncomfortable?"

The original poster (OP) says that he and his wife "Dahlia" had to move out from their apartment two months ago. They initially moved in with the OP's mom, but he says "issues began to arise" between his mother and wife, and so they moved in with his friend of 10 years, "Anthony."

He calls Anthony his "brother," and says it was their "strong bond" that led him to ask Anthony to let them stay with him while the OP saves enough money for a new place. Anthony's wife was away visiting family at the time, so he agreed.

However, tensions soon rose between Anthony and Dahlia. The OP describes his wife as "shy" around his friend.

"She grew up in conservative home and so it's understandable, but sometimes it can be a bit much I admit that!" u/Throw55257765 wrote.

For example, Dahlia "freaked out" after drinking accidentally from Anthony's glass, and was upset when Anthony passed by her room while she was lying down and the door happened to be open.

The latest issue is over a framed photo of Anthony kissing his wife at their wedding. Dahlia told the OP that the photo made her "uncomfortable," and asked him to talk to Anthony about taking it down. Though he says that Anthony was "super understanding" about the previous issues, he refused to take down the photo, calling Dahlia's reaction "bonkers." Anthony said that his wife put up the photo and that it holds sentimental value, as it is of their wedding.

OP and Anthony started arguing about the picture, with Anthony saying it wasn't front and center.

"I asked him to be a little more considerate because it's not like I asked him to remove it completely, just move it elsewhere that Dahlia won't reach or keep it off the wall til we leave. He said he was sorry but still refused," the OP wrote.

"I explained how Dahlia was feeling but he said that again, he was sorry but would not move the picture. We argued some more and he said that it's his house and that I was being pushy and kind of too comfortable to make such 'demand' and be pushy still," he continued.

After the argument, Dahlia refused to leave her room until the photo is moved, but Anthony is standing firm. Though OP admits Dahlia "might just be over reacting," he also says that it's a small request to which Anthony should acquiesce.

"If it were me, I'd go the extra mile to make sure my guests are comfortable," OP wrote.

While there's a lot of upsides to having a roommate—or even staying with a friend—it can also lead to strife. For example, a woman insisting her future roommates follow her strict religious rules despite not being in the same faith was criticized, as was another woman who was mad that her roommate kissed another friend of hers. As one Redditor said, "Good friends do not always make good roommates," but if it's any consolation, even animals sometimes have roommate issues.

Silvi Saxena, MBA, MSW, LSW, CCTP, OSW-C spoke to Newsweek about the situation. While she said that Dahlia's discomfort is "valid if she feels that way," it's not Anthony's "responsibility to manage that feeling."

"Anthony can validate that being in a different space can be hard and uncomfortable, and he is willing to help support her, but the home is their home and they have it filled with loving memories, so the intention isn't the way that Dahlia is perceiving it," Saxena said.

She also addressed ways the OP can help Dahlia get used to situations like the ones he mentioned in his original post.

"The husband is in a hard spot as he has a gracious friend letting him stay there while also trying to make sure he isn't neglecting the emotional needs and reactions of his wife, and when those two things are in conflict, it takes a very mindful approach to handle it," Saxena told Newsweek. "It can also be helpful for the husband to initiate a conversation between Anthony and his wife to become more familiar with one another, which can help ease some of these peripheral issues that come up when you feel like a stranger."

Redditors, however, were much harsher towards Dahlia and the OP.

"You are guests in their home because you are currently homeless," u/FunkyOrangePenguin wrote in the top-rated comment with 24,800 upvotes. "Your wife is clearly the problem here. Get a grip. [You're the A******]."

"Surely she has to be doing this on purpose? Is she trying to box him into a corner where they have no other option but her family or something like that? If you are doing something in your bedroom that you are uncomfortable with others seeing, you don't forget to close the door. How can you blame someone else because you took a sip of their drink? The thing about the picture almost seems the most reasonable and it's still insane. The first two seem like traps that she set up on purpose," u/MediumSympathy wrote.

"If your wife is uncomfortable with images of someone kissing, wait until she finds out where babies come from," u/ElectricMoccoson wrote. "[You're the A******] - Your wife is being bonkers, and you are both being horrible to a friend who has saved you from potential homelessness."

"[You're the A******], and your wife seems to be systematically driving wedges between you and important people in your life. Maybe that's worth examining. If Dahlia has issues with everyone in her sphere, I promise she's the issue," u/magstar222 wrote.

"[You're the A******]. I don't care if it's a full frontal nude on the wall. Beggars don't get to be choosers. If it bothers your wife so much then leave," u/salmonberrycreek wrote. "Your friend is being incredibly generous by letting you stay there. Your wife's request is beyond unreasonable."

Newsweek reached out to u/Throw55257765 for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.