Man Bashed Online After Referring to Friend's Child as 'Baggage'

The internet has slammed a man for referring to his friend's child as "baggage."

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/chandlerofpol shared his story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 5,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began his post by explaining that when he was growing up, he was best friends with "Beth." However, all of his and her friends knew that he had a crush on her. He assumed that Beth knew as well but they continued their relationship as friends. When they graduated high school, they ended up going to the same college and "were very tight" for years.

During their junior year in college, she began to date someone and they began to lose contact with each other. Beth ended up moving in with her partner and they had a child together. If they did see each other, it was a quick conversation as she was with her partner and child. He "didn't see a point" in continuing with the friendship as she "showed" him that she didn't see the friendship lasting.

Recently, Beth began to hang out with their shared friend group since she and her partner split up. Since she has split custody, she has time to go out with her friends. While they were out together, they reconnected. Beth suggested that they grab dinner in the future to catch up.

"I told her while it was nice to have her back in the group. I didn't really see the point to getting dinner," the OP explained, "She asked why. I said with her baggage it seemed like a waste of time. Well Beth went back and told all her friends I said this. So me, my two buddies and their GFs were watching the games this weekend. One of them asked why I didn't want to go get dinner with Beth. Given that I had such a crush on her for a decade. I said because she had baggage now. And didn't speak to me for years.

"So obviously she wants something from me and I'm not interested in a mom at this point in my life. But maybe a few years go by and we can grab dinner. The girlfriends started harping on my term baggage. Demanding that explain myself. I said her kid was baggage. And that alone made me not interested in catching up. Because it wouldn't lead anywhere and honestly felt like a waste of time," they continued.

His friends believe he's in the wrong and should apologize to Beth but believes that he did nothing wrong.

Newsweek reached out to u/chandlerofpol for comment.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding relationships including a woman who was praised for leaving her "insulting" boyfriend on the side of the road and how the internet backed a woman for fighting with her "entitled" boyfriend over mayonnaise.

How to rekindle a broken friendship

Did you use to have a "best friend" from work or school that didn't end the way you want? Have you wanted to reach out to them but don't know how to act? Inspiringtips.com has offered some tips:

• Make the first move: Sending a message to the person won't hurt. Ask if they would like to meet for coffee or dinner.
• Offer a genuine apology: Don't be embarrassed to admit fault. Tell them that you want to work on fixing the relationship.
• Do the unpredictable: Be spontaneous and do something sincere to let them know how important they are to you.
• Talk about the old times: Take a trip down memory lane and reminisce on the good times you had together.
• Try the fun things you used to do together: Make new memories by doing all the activities you two loved in the past.

Redditor reaction

U/adorable__elephant wrote, receiving the top comment of over 20,000 upvotes, "1. First of all, she wasn't talking about a date, she wanted to catch up. You are assuming that you are such a catch that she's automatically romantically interested in you is arrogant [as f**k].

"2. You just admitted to your whole circle of friends that you aren't willing to have a friendship if there's 'nothing in it for you'.

"3. You are acting as if her worth as a person has been diminished now that she has a kid.

"4. You were dehumanizing her kid by calling them baggage. I don't know if this is some sort of defense mechanism because you are still upset that she was dating someone else or if you are watching too many incel podcasts. Probably both. You are lacking basic f**king respect. Get a grip. [You're the a**hole,]" the commenter continued.

"[You're the a**hole] a child is not baggage; your unrequited affection seems to be though," u/PlanktonOk4846 exclaimed.

"[You're the a**hole] So basically what you are saying is you have never had any interest in actually being FRIENDS with Beth. You were only interested in her so long as the faint possibility remained that she would bang you someday. And apparently you don't feels moms are bang-worthy. Sad," u/poeadam commented.

u/oy-c**t- said, "[You're the a**hole]. She was never a friend to you. If she was, catching up over dinner would be totally normal. But because you still view her as a potential partner, her baggage is a deal breaker. Kids aren't deal breakers in platonic relationships. Seems like there's a reason you're single."