Man Refusing to Give Extra 'Pocket Money' to Unemployed Wife Praised

A married couple's finances are in the spotlight after the husband took to social media to reveal his wife, who does not work, has asked that he increase the allowance he provides for her. It's a request he has rejected, winning support online.

Money may not buy happiness, but disagreements over finances have been shown to derail many relationships. A 2013 study of more than 4,500 couples by researchers from Kansas State University found new partners who frequently argued about money were around 2.5 times more likely to be less satisfied if they married.

Money seems to be at the heart of the issues being experienced by one couple, according to the husband, who took to Reddit under the handle G_S_Rogers to air his grievances.

According to the post, while he works as a medical resident and earns money from the rent accrued via real-estate investments, his wife does not work as she is busy studying at law school and taking care of their 2-year-old son.

At present, 40 to 60 percent of his earnings go towards "household expenses" like a housekeeper and nanny, while around 20 percent goes into the family's savings. The remainder is split between him and his wife, but "not evenly" as she receives additional financial support from her parents.

Before they got married, an agreement had been in place that saw her parents pay her minimum wage while she was in law school. The deal was that, as long as she "kept her grades high," the money would stay the same.

After tying the knot, he agreed to pay half of what her parents gave her as "pocket money" in a deal that has stayed in place for the past four years. Unfortunately, her grades have "dropped," prompting her parents to reduce the amount given to her until results improve.

But while her husband maintained the same payments as before, in the absence of her parents' financial support, his wife is now asking him to "make up the difference" by increasing those payments. He has refused to do this.

"She had an agreement with her parents and me. That her decrease in her money is a result of her actions. I upheld my side of the bargain," the poster wrote. His wife, however, says her husband "should take care of her" by reducing the amount he saves or increasing the rent charged on the property he owns.

He's refusing to budge, though. "I can't magically make more money, and I think I deserve a little for myself," the Redditor wrote. "Receiving minimum wage without working is enough."

Commenting on the post, Natalie Lue, an author on relationships and self-esteem who hosts The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, told Newsweek the couple need to "re-evaluate" the financial arrangement they have entered into. "They have adopted very traditional, patriarchal roles, hence the tension, friction and expectations," Lue said.

"He needs to be honest about whether this is a case of can't or not wanting to and whether he values being in control. Supporting her financially needn't be an issue. When she starts earning, it will all go into the pot, and they'll both be better off."

On the flip side, Lue felt the wife had "fallen into the trap of expecting him to take a parental role and fill in the gap, which is an unfair and unrealistic expectation because she's his spouse, not his child." The wife needed to be more willing to reach a compromise.

Lue said: "Being more transparent about their finances means that they can share responsibility and reach a joint decision about whether there are some expenses they can cut back on."

The vast majority of users on Reddit, meanwhile, sided with the husband. Vivid-Rent7730 wrote: "She's an adult and she's lucky her parents and you are giving her anything. There are people out there studying, looking after children and still have to work."

Leo-Ny commented: "You are not a bank... It's pretty rude of her to say that 'as a husband I should take care of her'...when you are already doing it."

Misha2468 was similarly baffled at the woman complaining about having less "pocket money," while receiving a raft of benefits. "She has a nanny, she has parents who pay her to go to school, she has support from you and that is still not enough?" they wrote.

Newsweek reached out to G_S_Rogers for comment but could not confirm the details of the case.