Man Slammed for Lying to Wife About Wanting Children, Getting a Vasectomy

The internet has slammed a man for lying to his wife about wanting children and getting a vasectomy.

Taken to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/Adept-Blacksmith5270 shared her story in order to get the community's opinions. The viral post has over 8,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

"I wanted kids. My husband said he did too and wanted to wait till we were married. We got married 8 months ago and he 'changed his mind' and doesn't want kids at all," the Redditor began, "Later admitting when he was drunk that he never wanted kids and that he was hoping he would change his mind for my sake after we got married but decided its 100% not for him and scheduled a vasectomy. He got it last month."

However, the original poster (OP) admitted that him not wanting children wasn't a "dealbreaker" for her as she loves him and is willing to "live with it." She is hurt that there will be no children she can call her own but has her nieces and nephews to spoil. To cope with her feelings, she uses dark humor and her husband knows about it and even jokes with her.

While they were at dinner at his family's home, the OP's sister-in-law announced she was pregnant. She admitted that she was a bit envious of her sister-in-law. Her mother-in-law put her in the spotlight and asked her about when they will have kids.

The OP used her dark humor to respond, "I start laughing and said 'Ahh well this one doesnt want babies so he trapped me under false promises' and start nudging him saying 'huh, huh' (which is what we do at home- I dont know why this is a thing. We did it once and just never stopped). My husband just goes silent."

"My SIL, FIL and BIL laugh. My MIL wasnt even mad. She just turned to my SIL and said 'that's okay cause we still have one bundle to snuggle.' Super understanding family. Zero judgement. I mean, great people. But my husband was just dead silent the rest of the dinner and later said I was wrong for saying anything to his family about him changing his mind and said that it wasnt something they needed to know," she concluded.

The OP's husband is upset that his wife called him out, saying she should have just said she didn't know and let the conversation end after that.

Newsweek reached out to u/Adept-Blacksmith5270 for comment.

A vasectomy is a medical procedure that people with male reproductive organs get in order to prevent pregnancy. Doctors cut the small tubes that carry sperm out of the scrotum, so it can't leave the body, according to plannedparenthood.org. Vasectomies can also be reversed; surgeons can reattach the tubes that were once cut, restoring the flow of semen.

Having children is a big decision that couples make. Some people want children and some don't. Are you someone who wants children but your partner doesn't? Per advice from askapril.com, there are many ways to try to convince your spouse. First, make sure to listen to each other's concerns and have an open mind while having these discussions. Also, tell them how much having children means to you.

It also might be a good idea to take them out with friends who have children. It is also important to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner and not pressure them. Many people also are worried about the cost of having children and using close friends with kids as examples of how they manage their financial responsibilities is a good idea.

Readers shared their opinions on the OP's story in the comment section.

"[Not the a**hole]. I love that you are understanding about him not wanting kids. However, I would be furious at a partner that would willingly deceive me like that. You deserved to have that info up front. I wouldn't be able to trust him. What other decisions and big items is he going to make and just clue you in later," u/AshesB77 questioned, receiving over 18,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a**hole]. Your husband seems to think lying to the people he's closest with is the easiest way through life," u/Captain_Bubble_Beard said, "OP, if kids are something you really want then you should get the chance to have them. Don't settle, especially if it's with someone so willing to be dishonest with you."

"[Not the a**hole] You may be able to live without kids, however can you live with a man who lied and deceived you over such an important thing? He obviously cares more about himself and what he wants out of life than you," u/IHaveSaidMyPiece explained.

U/ItsAllMo-Thug wrote, "He's mad you told the truth lol. [Not the a**hole]."

"[Not the a**hole]. He knows he tricked you and misled you. He should own that s**t and live with it when the truth comes out. His family shouldn't be left in the dark or brushed off with vague platitudes because he doesn't want them to know how he misled you," u/wildferalfun exclaimed.