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A mother has been criticized online after confessing to upsetting her daughter by revealing the real reason the girl had been raised to call her by her first name rather than use the word "mum."
In a popular post to Subreddit "Am I The A**hole", the mom, who is thought to be from the U.K., shared that she had faced an intense conversation while exhausted and driving with her 15-year-old daughter.
Although it wasn't the first time the daughter had asked for the reason behind the choice not to use the word "mom' to address her mother, it was the first time the mom had given in and revealed the truth.
"For context, I have never wanted children, being in my early forties when I had her and her younger brother was a choice of my partner as I gave in and complied with the idea. I never held a deep affection for them at first but as they grow, I realize how much I truly love them," she wrote.
"Continuing on, I told my daughter that I never wished to be a mother and I'd much rather not be tied down to the lifestyle of it. I didn't think much of this as I was tired and just wanted to arrive at our destination."
The mom added that she didn't initially believe to be at fault over the confession, "however later broke down after her dad joked how he would be fine to allow her to call him dad."
After discussing it further, and relaying that she still wants to be called by her first name, the mom was met with a very different reaction from the daughter.
"She began to spiral and overreact, asking why I would tell her that, if I love her, etc. Then began to say how she wants the intimacy of calling me mum and how she does not feel close to me," wrote the mom.
"We have never had a problem of how she calls me by my name and I thought she would only ask simply due the curiosity of a growing person."
In 2014, The Wall Street Journal reported a rise in parents going by their first names, and noted a variety of reasons including children acting rebellious and a co-operating choice by parents in a bid to craft a friendship with their child.
The choice is a divisive one, even among experts, with some advocating that it's up to the parents while others feel it instills authority in the home to go by "mom" and "dad."
"The parent needs to provide rules and structure and many studies show that children do much better when they know there's somebody in the home in control and that's usually a 'mother' or a 'father,'" Tammy Gold, therapist and parenting expert, told CBS.
For Reddit users, this mom's story was especially extreme, with the majority dubbing her the "a**hole" and highlighting her apparent disregard for the child's feelings.
One comment with over 25,000 votes read: "'I never wanted you, only had you to keep my partner, and I may love you now but not enough to let you call me mum.' How would you possibly NOT be the asshole for telling a teenager that?"
"You shouldn't have given in and had children if you feel like that but since you did, you took on an obligation to ensure their well-being, physical and emotional. Not allowing them to call their parents "mum and dad" was cruel and bizarre. Telling your daughter that it is because you don't actually want to be a mum is absolutely shameful. Irredeemable," wrote one user.
"WTF is wrong with you?" asked another. "You just told her she was unloved and unwanted. Some day you will be one of those people whining about your children never calling you."
One user agreed, writing: "How coldhearted can you be to your own child."
"Congratulations, you've created childhood trauma," put another bluntly.
