Man Telling Stay-at-Home Girlfriend She's 'Responsible' for His Kids Chided

A dad's post has drawn the ire of thousands of Redditors who have criticized him for saying his stay-at-home girlfriend is responsible for his children.

User throwaway2216689, aged 36, explained his girlfriend, 32, of two years stays at home to look after his children 13 and 9. But recently, she decided to go back to work and happened to have an interview during school pick-up hours.

Explaining their family dynamic, he wrote: "I work full time and my girlfriend used to stay home and take care of everything else (I still help out here and there) yet she would complain about the kids causing constant messes, not receiving proper discipline, accidents like breaking a vase and the list goes on. She complained that she is more of a parent than I am which's not true since I provide an income."

According to the 2019 American Community Survey, there are close to 2.4 million stepchildren in the U.S.

Marni Goldman, the author of True to Myself: Peace, Love, Marni and life coach, told Newsweek communication is "crucial" and healthier boundaries should have been set.

"In this situation, I am sure this man has been an arrogant narcissist from the start. The roles were defined from the very beginning. He was the 'breadwinner' and he knew over time, because of his money, he would be able to control her," she said.

The user in the Reddit post said: "I called her to remind her to pick the kids up from school since she's responsible for it but she said she was about to start her interview and told me to go get them. I was stunned, I told her I couldn't because I was at work. She said I could take a break but I refused because this would've affected my job. I asked if she'd take 10 minutes to quickly go pick them up but she refused."

In the end, the children were collected 40 minutes later by a friend. And the couple had an argument and the girlfriend said she was "tired" of being at his "beck and call all of the time".

The original poster explained he called her "selfish" for ditching the kids.

Commenting on the post, Goldman told Newsweek: "I believe her intentions were pure like most would do while in a relationship, and just wanted to help out her new boyfriend while he worked. She did it because she wanted to, not because she had to. Sadly, it has become nothing but her being a 'glorified nanny.'

"This is where communication is crucial. If there were healthy boundaries, she would've told him, 'this is becoming too much' or asked him to consider hiring a babysitter."

More than 5,500 people have commented on the post that received 14,600 upvotes, at the time of writing.

The top comment alone received 59,600 upvotes, it said: "'She complained that she is more of a parent than I am which's not true since I provide an income.' Just based off of this YTA [you're the a******.]

"He's already dumped & just doesn't know it," wrote another user.

"She's not his girlfriend, she's a nanny with benefits. And he's not their father, he's just some guy that pays for things. What a sad way for these kids to grow up, and what a sorry excuse for a relationship," commented another.

A Redditor said: "I'm hoping that this job hunt is just Step 1 of her plan to leave him."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwaway2216689 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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