Mom-to-Be Bans Stepmother From Seeing Baby After She Demands to Name Her

A woman is being supported on Reddit after banning her stepmother from ever seeing her baby after an unusual request.

The original poster (OP), u/stepmotheraitathrow, earned over 8,400 upvotes and 1,000 comments for her post to the r/AmITheA**hole subreddit, "[Am I the A**hole] for not letting my dads wife name or see my baby."

She says she's 25 now, but her father married his current wife when she was 17. Things were always fraught between the OP and her stepmother. She says the stepmother tried to force a relationship, getting mad that OP wouldn't call her "Mom," that she would talk to her boyfriend about her depression instead of her stepmom and more.

In addition, she says her stepmom would try to take away things that the OP had paid for and even made her fast for a week because she felt the OP was too heavy. This is despite the fact that she had her weight monitored by a doctor who agreed she was at a "healthy weight."

Her stepmom has caused u/stepmotheraitathrow to drift apart from her father, and when he told her recently that he wanted to meet for brunch, she had no idea he would be bringing his wife. To start, they made small talk, but when the OP's pregnancy came up, her stepmother made a number of inquiries—before telling her outright that the name of OP's new baby would be "Amy," the same as her daughter.

"I politely said no and said we already had a few names in mind. She started saying why I wasn't allowing her to name her grandchild and she should get that right, I told her that it's our right," u/stepmotheraitathrow wrote. In a later comment, she added that not only was this not a tradition in her family, she had never before heard of a grandmother getting to name the child.

"That was another issue. She kept saying that I was taking away her right as a grandparent and that I've always been such a b**ch to her for no reason and she knew that I never accepted her as my mother from the beginning but I'm a bad parent if I'm going to project that onto my kid," OP continued.

At this point, u/stepmotheraitathrow says she stopped the line of questioning and said her stepmom would not be allowed near her child. At this point, her stepmother called her "bitter" and "a brat." OP fired back that she is happy to think what she likes, but that she would not be naming her child "Amy."

"Then she decided to try to hit close to home saying that I was going to be a horrible mother, I'm already not taking care of myself, i look like s**t, I'm already eating to much and probably killing my baby with how much I eat, and I just keep adding to how much of a self centered person I am by taking away her bonding with her grand child," u/stepmotheraitathrow wrote.

This was the OP's final straw and she said she would never be allowed to see her child "since she wanted to push her luck." The OP's husband ended brunch and the two left. She says since then, her phone's been blowing up with many people telling her that though her stepmother was wrong, OP knows "how she can get," and should still allow her access to her grandbaby. Her father is on his wife's side too.

One of the most controversial parts of having a baby—at least as far as the relatives are concerned—is the naming process. Newsweek has run a number of stories on baby name problems. A common theme is perhaps the opposite of u/stepmotheraitathrow's conundrum: name "theft."

Sometimes, relatives hear what someone else in the family is going to name their kid, and decide that they love that name too and want it for their own. For example, a brother-in-law stole both first and middle names from one couple's unborn son. Another woman decided she "really liked the name" that her sister picked—and then asked what her sister was changing their baby's name to since she wanted it.

Other times, people have tried to force names on a couple, much like the stepmother in this story. In one, the mom-to-be's sister demanded that the new baby be named after her. And sometimes the trouble is coming from the other parent—like a new mom trying to trick her new husband into naming their child after her late ex, or a dad trying to convince his wife to name their kid after his dead wife and daughter.

In all those stories, Reddit condemned any sort of name trickery, and this story is no exception.

"[Not the A**hole] - you need to invite your father to your home on his own and lay it down hard," u/JudgeJed100 wrote in the top-rated comment with over 14,800 upvotes. "You will not accept such talk from her, this isn't her grand child and if he wants access to his grandchild he better buck up ... Because honestly you don't need her toxicity in your life, and you don't need your fathers enabling if her either".

"Agree. 'You know how she can get, so you must let her get away with her toxic behaviour' must be one of the dumbest takes in existence.... If she is known as a problematic person, shouldn't that be enough of a reason to stay (and keep children) away from her?" u/SneakyRaid wrote. "[Not the A**hole], OP, she pushed your limits and kept doubling down until you put your foot down."

"[Not the A**hole]. Your dad's partner is way overstepping. I don't understand why your dad just lets her continue acting like that," u/DogsReadingBooks wrote.

"[Not the A**hole]- she's not the baby's grandmother! You only met her in your late teens and she was abusive to you- why should you expose your child to her? I'm curious to hear what your dad says about it all. Why does he allow her to treat you this way?" u/ShallWeStartThen wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/stepmotheraitathrow for comment.