Mom Refusing to Call School Children by Their Correct Names Slammed Online

A mom refusing to call students by their real names is being slammed online.

Sharing his story with Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on October 2, user u/LikeTheComedian explained that the woman volunteers at his son's school during the end-of-day pick-up time. She refuses to use unisex names, instead giving children new gendered monikers.

Despite repeatedly being asked to stop, the woman continued to misname his son and other children, leading to a confrontation at the school gates.

Since being shared, the post has received almost 15,000 upvotes and nearly 2,000 comments from fellow Redditors.

What's in a Name?

Whether your birth name or a chosen one, a 2018 study demonstrated the importance of being able to use your preferred name. Published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, researchers discovered that transgender children who were supported in using their chosen name were 65 percent less likely to die by suicide.

Surveying 129 young transgender people between the ages of 15 and 21, they also found a 34 percent decrease in suicidal thoughts and a 71 percent decrease in depression for those who could use their chosen name.

According to M Fok—a counselor specializing in LGBTQ+ and gender transitioning issues—purposely calling someone the wrong name or pronouns can have a long-term impact.

They told Newsweek: "Occasionally, we will accidentally call someone by the wrong name. In most cases, with a sincere apology, this is a harmless and forgivable mistake.

"However, misnaming someone intentionally is an entirely different matter and could have a serious impact on their life."

As names are a part of someone's identity, deliberately using the wrong name is invalidating and disrespectful.

"When you call me by name, I know you are asking for me," they said. "If someone is being misnamed intentionally, they could perceive it as you seeing them as unimportant and not caring about who they are, and therefore you did not put any effort into learning their names.

"It could lead to the misnamed person having low self-esteem. If this happens regularly, it is possible they could develop symptoms of anxiety and depression, which could result in social withdrawal and mental health issues."

However, misnaming isn't just disrespectful to trans individuals—anyone can suffer from name discrimination. A woman recently went viral after reporting her boss to HR over the "hyper-sexualized" nickname he gave her, while Mumsnet users backed a poster whose mother-in-law refused to use her correct name.

'The Mother is Being Sexist to a Child!'

In his post, LikeTheComedian explained his son is named Robin. However, the woman—who he describes as "weird pick-up mom"—has been calling him "Robert."

"Now, the first few weeks I brushed it off because learning the names of a bunch of different kids is hard," he wrote.

"I would just tell her when she came back over with my son 'actually his name is Robin.' I've said this almost every single day for over a month now."

The poster decided to gently confront the woman at a school function, but the conversation didn't go as expected.

He said: "Last week I saw her at a school function and went up and introduced myself and basically said 'I'm Robin's father. You might recognize me from pickup. By the way, his name isn't Robert.'

"Her response confounded me. She said Robin is a girl's name and not a good nickname for Robert, so she'll call him his real name instead.

"I tried to correct her, since Robin isn't a nickname, but she wandered away. The next time she walked up to my car I got annoyed and said 'I'm here for Robin. R O B I N.' She did it again."

Although he confronted the woman several times, she still kept calling his son Robert, causing the poster to snap at the latest pick-up time.

"I asked her what her problem was in a very loud voice," he said. "I shouted loud enough that a teacher ran over.

"The volunteer mom ran away, and I tried to explain. The teacher looked at me like I had three heads and said she would go get my son. I got an email later asking me to come in Monday for a meeting."

Reddit users reassured the poster that he was in the right, accusing the woman of "bullying" and "sexism."

"Email back," urged Status-Pattern7539. "[Say]: 'I look forward to meeting with you to discuss volunteer parent bullying my child and an appropriate course of action going forward to prevent this from continuing.'"

"The parent in this scenario is trying to push her gender bias on your son and on all of you," agreed Beckylately.

"I would go into that meeting prepared to accuse her of discrimination and, if the school backs her up, of them supporting her being discriminatory against your son."

Principalgal said: "The mother is being sexist to a child!"

While KrisTDawn1985 commented: "You don't get to just erase people's names/identity just because you don't like them.

"Please don't go into that meeting with the school with anything less than indignation over the way your son is being treated."

In an update, LikeTheComedian said he'd done some digging on social media and discovered that the woman was also misnaming other students with unisex names. In the meeting, the principal was "surprised" to hear about the situation.

"The principal said the teacher would talk to the other mom," he said. "I apologized for yelling, and we all shook hands.

"At pickup that day, weird pickup mom wouldn't look me in the eye. She didn't call Robin Robert or by his actual name. She was quiet the whole time."

Newsweek has reached out to u/LikeTheComedian for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.