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A post about a mother allowing her teenage daughter to don a "skater style" black dress to a wedding has gone viral on Mumsnet, the U.K.-based online forum.
In a post shared on the Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) subforum under the username Bikeybikeface, the mom said her 14-year-old's style is "a bit [alternative], bit gothy" and that originally she'd wanted to wear a trouser suit.
There weren't many trouser suit options available for her age and size, "So, we've found a skater style black dress with long sleeves which she hasn't hissed at turned her nose up at," the user wrote. "It's a winter wedding so long sleeves will be OK and not out of place."
The mom questioned: "[Is it unreasonable] to let my teen wear black to a wedding?"
In a survey of more than 2,500 people attending weddings in 2022, conducted by the wedding planning website Zola, "cocktail" attire (a slightly more dressed up feel than "semi-formal") was reported to be the most popular and most "guest-preferred" wedding dress code.
"Black-tie optional" (which is slightly less formal than "black-tie") was another guest favorite.
The Zola survey found that more than a third of guests are planning to buy or rent three or new outfits for weddings they attend this year.
A survey of 500 people who attended a wedding in 2021, conducted by The Knot (another wedding planning website), revealed that 51 percent of guests were most looking forward to getting dressed up, while 32 percent were reported to have spent more splurging on attire and accessories than they normally would.
In a later comment, the mom in the latest viral Mumsnet post said the bride and groom are in the early 20s and "I'm sure they'll be fine with it, I just wanted to check it wasn't an epic faux pas. I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding so my wedding etiquette is years out of date."
She said: "I often hear that black is a no no for weddings unless it's background for a colourful pattern," noting "I wouldn't have minded someone in black at mine, unless it was the MIL [mother-in-law] with matching black hat and veil."
Several users on Mumsnet backed the mom in the latest post.
AutumnIsHere21 said: "I think that will be fine. I think the average wedding guest knows teens are a law unto themselves when it comes to fashion. As long as she isn't in leggings with her midriff out, I'd consider it a win!
Plump82 wrote: "I don't think there's anything wrong at all for wearing black at a wedding. I have and have seen plenty [of] other people do the same."
Cotton55 said: "Teenagers can be so fussy especially when it comes to more formal wear. If she's happy and you're happy, I would definitely let her wear it. I don't think anyone would have an issue with her wearing black."
Some users disagreed, such as SissySpacekAteMyHamster who said: "I think a teen should be able to understand wedding etiquette. I wouldn't want people wearing black to my wedding. Can she maybe compromise and stick a bright jacket over it?"
User ChildrenOfTheQuorn shared: "I did for a wedding about 10 years ago (black, lacey, long sleeves). The bride joked that I looked like I dressed for a funeral. I wish I'd at least worn navy blue now!"
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of this case.
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About the writer
Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in Read more