Neighbors Constantly Haranguing Couple About Being Denied Pool Use Slammed

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A group of neighbors who only talk to a couple about why they refuse to let them use their pool are being heavily criticized on Reddit.

The neighbors are at the heart of a viral post to the r/AmITheA**hole subreddit—the name of which is often stylized as "AITA." The post, by u/No_Material_4161, has earned over 12,600 upvotes in two days, and has the internet talking.

In the post, titled "AITA for not letting my neighbors access our pool?", the original poster (OP) explains that earlier this year they and their spouse bought a house that has a pool.

"We fit in the neighborhood or so we thought until neighbors from 3 surrounding homes and us got into a weird conversation around their expectations to access the pool for weekend and holidays pool parties," u/No_Material_4161 wrote.

The previous owners of the house had worked out a deal with a group of neighbors where in exchange for paying for pool maintenance, the neighbors—adults and children—would have access whenever they wanted. But u/No_Material_4161 says they and their spouse are "fairly private," and don't want neighbors visiting whenever.

Unfortunately, the initial refusal didn't stick, and whenever the neighbors see the OP or their spouse, they ask about the pool again, repeating the offer to pay for maintenance.

"I was trying to enjoy gardening and was cornered once again. I just really firmly told them that they really need to stop talking about the pool each time they see us, stood up and left. As I was walking back towards the gate to the backyard (within our property line), they were following me talking my ears off," u/No_Material_4161 wrote.

"One of the lady/mom was STILL going on and on because 'she asked nicely and offers to pay for the maintenance and that she really didn't understand why I was so against it'. I turned around and asked them to leave now and never follow me on my property ever again," they continued.

The day before the post, they said that they had a party with friends, when one of the neighbors again began hectoring them, saying that "it must be nice to be invited to enjoy the pool." They asked her to go because they were having company.

"AITA for not wanting neighbors to have access to my property and seriously losing my patience with their expectations?" they asked.

neighbors pool reddit viral aita refuse liability
Neighbors demanding a couple relent and allow public access to their swimming pool are being criticized on Reddit. iStock/Getty

As summer begins to kick into high gear, so does the number of requests to use a neighbor's pool. If the neighbors have a good relationship, sometimes the answer is "yes," but that can carry liability issues. If someone happens to be injured while on the property, the property owners are usually, legally, on the hook.

Newsweek has run a number of stories about sharing a pool. One person let the neighbors use their pool, but with one rule: no dogs. But when he realized that kids had used the pool when he wasn't there—and that the liner had been torn—the free ride ended. Again, the neighbors were upset at the change in the status quo, but the pool owner was supported.

Another case wasn't quite so clear, splitting the internet on who was right. A woman's friend asked if she could use her family's pool while they were away on vacation. Last time, though, when she was granted permission to use it while they were away, she got the chemical balance wrong and let the water get too low. In addition, the homeowners would have to pay to leave the heating on in the pool while they were gone. While some said she should deny the request outright, others said they should be more understanding.

Redditors were more united on this front—the neighbors need to back off.

"[Not the A**hole] those are some entitled persistent neighbors. Also the liability of having an open gate for everyone's access. What if a kid wandered and drowned? That will be on you. Stand your ground, I would do the same. Good luck!" u/Electronic_Active638 wrote.

"OP needs to consider a lock on the gate if there isn't one already and cameras near the gate and pool just in case. Maybe even a nice no trespassing sign on the gate. If they think you're out of town, they might help themselves to a swim and that is a huge liability. If these people are pestering you about a pool, they likely won't hesitate to sue if one of them drowns," u/Suckerforcats added.

"[Not the A**hole]," u/moodyfish7777 said. "From now on say: I cannot afford the liability insurance required for a public access pool nor do I want the responsibility of a public access pool, please respect my privacy, property and choices.Then walk away."

"Seriously I'm a lawyer and although I don't do that kind of law, anyone who got through first-year Torts is horrified at the thought of leaving an open gate for kids to swim," u/j_natron said.

Newsweek reached out to u/No_Material_4161 for comment.

About the writer

Matt Keeley is a Newsweek editor based in Seattle. His focus is reporting on trends and internet culture. He has covered internet history and popular culture extensively. Matt joined Newsweek in 2019 from Hornet Stories and had previously worked at Westwood One. He is a graduate of Pacific Lutheran University. You can get in touch with Matt by emailing m.keeley@newsweek.com. Languages: English.


Matt Keeley is a Newsweek editor based in Seattle. His focus is reporting on trends and internet culture. He has ... Read more