Outrage as Man Dumps Pregnant Girlfriend After 8 Years but 'Wants Her Baby'

The internet has urged a woman to start taking legal advice after her partner left her while eight months pregnant and his new girlfriend started making parenting demands.

In a post shared on Mumsnet on Friday, under the username EJLx, the soon-to-be mom wrote that she is about eight months pregnant with a baby girl, which both she and her partner of eight years wanted very much and planned. Until a few months ago, she was living the dream, but when she was about six months pregnant, things started to change.

He left her for the first time then, just to come back, saying he made a mistake. However, the man left her again and started dating 18-year-old girls while telling his pregnant ex-partner that he was living "between friends" and dating no one. It turned out that he has a girlfriend now and he's now living with her.

According to the U.S. Census single parents' statistics (2021), there are 11 million single-parent families with children under 18 years old in the U.S., and 80 percent of all single parents are moms. More than half of all single mothers in the country are millennials.

Then the partner's new girlfriend contacted the poster, demanding that she gets the baby for sleepovers as soon as she is born, saying that she is going to love and care for her. The poster wrote that her ex-partner wants to be present during labor, and she's not too comfortable with this request either.

The Mumsnet user wrote: "I've now told him I don't want him at the birth. I don't want him anywhere near us and that he'll have to take me to court. I feel awful, I love him so much and this baby was planned and wanted more than anything. I can't believe he's done this to me. He's said he'll go to court... he's keeping his new girlfriend and he wants my baby too."

Dr. Bahjat Balbous, a psychiatrist at Euromed Clinic Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, told Newsweek that a relationship ending can be a very traumatic experience. It's good to be in touch with family and friends during these periods, as well as to seek professional help, to get stronger and develop strategies to navigate through this situation as it unfolds.

According to Balbous, the poster's partner does not sound as if he is a reliable person but as he is the father of her baby, he does have rights, unlike his girlfriend who has no prior claim.

"I think it's vital you seek legal advice and draw up an agreement, both financial and custodial, to protect the rights of your child, as well as your own, and to ensure you understand exactly what to expect of your ex-partner moving forward," said Balbous.

"In this, I would also state that he should be the one to contact you as the agreement is between you and him. His current girlfriend is not to be acting in loco parentis [in the place of a parent] for him as this makes you feel uncomfortable and adds to your trauma."

The Am I Being Unreasonable poll, with more than 876 votes, established that the poster was not being unreasonable, with 96 percent of voters agreeing with her.

One user Rainbowqueeen commented: "The birth - this is a medical procedure and you are the patient. If you say no the hospital will not allow him in. Any court will support the hospital.

"Contact is supposed to be in the best interests of the child. Little and often is recommended for babies eg 2 hours at a time, 4 times a week. Overnights are generally not considered until [the] baby is 2. Tell him no.

"Put everything in writing Frame everything in terms of what is best for baby. So 'It is in [the] baby's best interest to have contact with you regularly for short periods. I suggest 4-5 times a week for 2 hours. Can you let me know what times and days would be suitable for you.' Then claim cms [child maintenance support] and give [the] baby your surname. I predict that by the time baby is one he will be an absentee father anyway."

And Momtotwokids wrote: "It sounds like this idiot and his girlfriend want to play house. Wishing you [the] best for a smooth and happy birth."

Another Mumsnet user BambinoBlue commented: "Presuming you are not married to this poor excuse of a man, he has no automatic parental rights. You solely have those parental rights when you give birth. He only shares those equally with you if he's there with you when you register the baby's birth and you agree to have him named on the certificate by signing after him. Don't do this.

"Register alone. Keep those rights solely. Let him take it to court if he likes to get his name on. Chances are he won't and it will all just be hot air.

"Be well rid. Enjoy your baby. Both of you are worth more than him."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.