Parent Criticized for Forcing Daughter to Visit Mom

Commenters in a popular internet forum criticized a father for "forcing" his teenage daughter to visit her mother's house.

The OP, known as u/aita81089, posted about the situation in Reddit's "Am I The A******" forum where it received over 7,200 upvotes and 1,800 comments. The post can be found here.

Susan Newman, Ph.D. and author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day, told Newsweek that it is important to consider the child's age when making decisions about custody.

"Very young children will go by what a parent says," Newman said. "As they get older, their wanting to be with one parent or the other really depends on so many factors."

Some factors include how strict one parent is over another, if one parent tries to "win over" the kids with gifts or trips, as well as how accessible their friends are from each house.

"It boils down to what do they have to do at each parent's house. That's going to affect whether a child wants to visit or not," Newman said. "The affinity for a parent often changes, so that will affect whether or not a child wants to visit."

Newman recommends that parents ask their children the reasons they do not want to visit their other parent and communicate openly with them about visitation.

If the child is older, parents must often compromise with the child regarding scheduled visits.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for telling my daughter she has to go see her mom?" the OP said him and his ex divorced when their daughter Emma, 14, was a few months old.

Emma's mother had primary custody of Emma until she was 9 years old and asked to spend more time with the OP.

The OP and Emma's mom decided to let her spend every other week at his house for a year.

"When she turned 10 she told us that she thinks spending the weekend with a parent was better," the post read. "But she wants to spend the weekends with her mom and be with me the rest of the time."

But after this agreement was made, Emma told her parents it was too tiring to keep alternating houses and suggested that she go to her mom's house every other weekend.

Custody Disagreement

A year ago, Emma told her parents that rather than every other weekend, she wanted to see her mom once a month.

"Now she is telling me that she doesn't want to go there at all," the post read. "I told her that can't happen and she has to go see her mom."

The conversation turned into an argument and the OP said he was angry with Emma, telling her that if she doesn't visit her mom then they will go back to the original custody agreement where her mother had primary custody.

"She called me an a****** but went to her mom's home and now she won't answer my call," the post read.

In the comments, the OP said his daughter "doesn't like her siblings" because they are "bullying" her.

Emma's mom said her son is just "teasing" her and that no one is being bullied, but the OP told her to tell her son to stop.

Redditor Reactions

More than 1,800 users commented on the post, many calling out the OP for not listening to his teenage daughter regarding custody.

"Buddy, every alarm in your head should go on," one user commented. "You need to talk to her, if something is wrong at her mom's place."

"So, as her parent, why aren't you looking into why she doesn't want to go?" another commenter wrote. "This seems like it should be your very first question."

"OP: please listen to this. Huge red flag. Take your daughter's side," another user wrote. "Something is going on and she isn't comfortable telling you, especially if you just yell at her to go."

"YTA based on the info. Your daughter is old enough to decide how much she wants to see her mother so you can't force her to go," another commented. "Do you know why your daughter doesn't want to go there? Please try to figure that out first."

Newsweek reached out to u/aita81089 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

A father was criticized in another viral internet post after he demanded equal custody of his baby.

In another Reddit post, a woman was backed for refusing to help her brother from losing custody of his children. One man was criticized online for pressuring his kids to call his new wife "mom."