Pregnant Woman Sparks Debate as 'Rude' Mom-in-Law Cleans Up Without Asking

A pregnant woman has sparked debate online by asking if it is OK to clean someone else's house.

In a post on the popular discussion site Mumsnet, a woman complained that her mother-in-law had cleaned her home without asking.

Mother-in-law relationships aren't always easy, in fact, a recent study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal revealed that both men and women report having more conflict with their mother-in-law than with their own mother. The study found that the majority of conflicts were centered around finances and child care.

Mumsnet user Hoorhhuudde explained: "We have two under fives and our house is in the process of being sorted out for our expected third baby. It's clean. I did the hoovering [vacuuming], mopped the floors, etc. before the in-laws came to visit. It's tidy in the way a toddler-filled house can be. It's not minimalist retiree tidy."

She explained that her mother-in-law had never coped well with being a guest and often "hovers around" asking to help.

"I know where everything is and I don't need help," said the woman. But during the visit, she revealed that her mother-in-law started vacuuming as she was trying to dish up a family meal.

After telling her mother-in-law to stop and go through to the other room, she walked through to find her tidying the children's toys.

"I have children with special educational needs," explained the Mumsnet user: "So stations of things we use daily like mood boards were swept into random places. It wasn't the type of thing where there was an obvious toy box and she was just putting them back. It was like she had deemed it not tidy enough and was implementing her own random system."

Frustrated by her mother-in-law's behavior, she took to the internet to ask: "Is this normal guest behavior?" She added: "For context, I wouldn't tidy up in someone's house unprompted but I'd get my kids and I to help when tidying was happening, or offer if [it was] an appropriate time."

In a follow-up reply, the poster shared how she felt that her mother-in-law was making a statement with the unsolicited cleaning: "It does feel rude. Especially when historically I've cleaned the bathroom, etc. before they visit and then she asks to clean it on day one. Feels like a comment," she said.

If you can't seem to make the relationship work with your mother-in-law, there is some good news—it might not be your fault.

The recently published paper, by researchers at Arizona State University and other institutions, suggested that conflicts may be "influenced by genetic conflict," as each person "unconsciously acts in the interest of their genetic kin." This means that in-laws may be naturally more likely to agree with your partner than to take your side during a disagreement.

On Mumsnet, responses were mixed as to if the unrequested cleaning was acceptable or not.

"My mother-in-law used to do this and it is infuriating," said one commenter: "One time she tidied inside my wardrobe but the one I completely lost my rag over was when she wiped out my cutlery drawer."

But another reply disagreed and said: "But you know she means well and just wants to be useful, so hard to be too cross surely?"

One commenter said: "Of course, mothers-in-law are always in the wrong no matter what they do."

"I'm guilty of doing this when I go to my parents," admitted another Mumsnet user.

Another reply that agreed with the poster wrote: "I find it intrusive, plus a passive-aggressive way of showing disapproval."