Man Backed for Not Funding Nephew's College With Niece's Money: 'Unfair'

An uncle has taken to the internet this week to ask if he is in the wrong for refusing to contribute to his nephew's college fund.

In a post on the popular Reddit sub r/AmITheA**hole on Sunday, user OkFrosting3627 shared the story—which has since received thousands of upvotes and hundreds of comments.

The Redditor explained that he is single and childless by choice, but is particularly close with his family—especially 18-year-old niece and nephew Stephanie and Alexander.

He said: "I own a small business near a major university that caters to students. It's mostly a bookstore that specializes in discount textbooks, but we also sell coffee and baked goods and offer study areas.

"Since it's hard to find jobs that fit high schoolers' schedules, I've allowed Stephanie and Alexander to work at the store since they were 15."

The deal with the kids was that they would either be paid weekly, or have the money put into a bonus college fund: "I recommended the college fund, as it would be more useful in the long run, but it was still their choice," he explained: "Stephanie chose the college route while Alexander wanted weekly pay."

Now both 18, the kids are going to college in the fall and Stephanie has a good amount saved up to see her through studies at her chosen university.

But Alexander has not been as responsible with his money, with virtually no savings, he has been accepted into his dream college but says he is unsure how he will afford it.

With their parents unable to cover the college costs, the Redditor's sister-in-law and brother recently asked him if he would cover the first few years of Alexander's undergraduate program.

"I could technically afford to, but I would need to take some from Stephanie's college fund," he explained: "I told them it would be unfair to Stephanie to bail her brother out with the money she worked to save all these years. I have some of my own savings, but it's an emergency fund in case something happens with the store. My sister-in-law and brother were disappointed but told me they understood."

But issues about the arrangement arose when the Redditor's parents found out about the situation: "They told me that it was selfish to 'leave my nephew unable to attend his dream school,' and I should split the college funds," he wrote.

But determined that it wasn't fair, he stood his ground writing: "I think it's hideously unfair that Alexander gets bailed out while his sister had to work hard. AITA?"

Attending school in the U.S. isn't a cheap endeavor. According to College Board, tuition fees in 2021-22 averaged at $10,740 for four-year in-state schools, rising to around $27,560 for four-year out-of-state.

While there are options for students including financial aid and scholarships, many aspiring academics turn to loans to fund their studies. As of March 2021, 23 percent of the $1.59 trillion outstanding federal loan balance was held by borrowers who were 50 or older. In 2019-20, 55 percent of bachelor's degree graduates had graduated with an average debt level of $28,400.

The internet overwhelmingly agreed with the Redditor, saying that he was right not to dip into his niece's college fund to help pay for his nephew.

"Stephanie's college fund isn't even your money to take," said one commenter: "She earned it working. That would literally be stealing her wages. If you were contemplating helping Alexander it would need to be without touching the money Stephanie earned."

"He had the same opportunity as his sister did, his choices are now not affording him the luxury of debt-free college. This was his choice and his choice only," said another reply.

Others pointed out that taking money from what Stephanie had earned would be completely wrong. One commenter wrote: "You didn't 'contribute' to her fund, you paid what you owned her. It's like saying my boss contributes to my rent."

"Alex squandered his money, Stephanie did not," said another reply: "Not your problem."

Newsweek has reached out to OkFrosting3627 for comment.