Daughter Backed for Refusing to Be Legal Guardian of Dad's 'Affair Baby'

A daughter has been backed online for refusing to become the legal guardian of her dad's "affair baby."

In a viral post that has received more than 8,400 upvotes, u/AITA_nosister, explained that her father was disowned by his whole family after he was found to be having an affair. As a result, he was removed from his parents' wills and he's now "living on a budget" with his new wife and their four-year-old child.

Newsweek spoke to London-based psychologist Aaron Surtees, who stated situations that involve family and money are "usually a recipe for disaster."

The 26-year-old daughter explained: "We discovered that my dad had been cheating on her with a girl my age, his whole family disowned him and cut contact with him except for me, I guess that at that time, I wasn't ready to let go of both my parents at the same time, but over these last five years, I've been able to gradually let go to the point I only see him (them) twice or thrice a month, it's like I have no family left. Don't get me wrong, I also blame the girl for what happened, but the responsibility toward my mom and me was my dad's, not hers."

The original poster also pointed out she is now the benefactor from both sides of her family as her dad was removed from her mom's will and those of her grandparents.

When she recently visited him to celebrate his birthday, he asked her to become the legal guardian of her half-sister in case anything ever happened to them, and also because she had the means for it.

"My dad's wife's parents are able to care for her, but to an extent only, and I'll have the needed money to take care of an innocent child. I said no, not for the money, but because I just don't want to, I'm not close to my sister and currently I don't see nor want myself taking care of a child, much less, reminiscent of my mom's last heartbreak."

The daughter agreed, however, to pass on a monthly cheque that would be less than a child support payment. As a result of this, her dad was emotional and asked her to be a "good sister."

"I just laughed and said that he was no one to talk about good and wrong and he and his wife should've thought of that before cheating."

Infidelity is a common but difficult problem for families to deal with, and it gets far more complicated when financial issues are involved. A survey conducted by the Health Testing Centre showed that 65 percent of 441 respondents had sex outside of their relationship, and 93 percent of them admitted doing so.

"His wife called me a monster and kicked me out of the house. I left. Later that night I sent my dad a text informing him of my decision to cut ties with him, completely, and that from now on we'll be no contact unless it's an emergency. He's begging me to reconsider, but I don't know if I'm right or wrong."

Psychologist Surtees warned of the difficulties that can come with families and money issues, saying: "It is always wise to get your personal and family financial affairs in order but these things take much deliberation and consideration. It is an unusual scenario for parents to directly cut off their adult child from the will, and if the grandchild/children end up being the sole beneficiary of the estate, it can make relationships strained and complex."

"The person here has been put in an awkward situation in an already difficult relationship dynamic. When sudden questions and decisions are sprung on a person without a warning it is natural to be thrown off guard. At the moment your brain and mind can lead to a hasty decision as you have not had the time or space to process the information."

"Your first reaction instinctually may be the correct one but at the moment there are lots of thoughts and feelings happening, and how you go about answering could come off all wrong, leaving you looking like it is you who is out of line. I always advise my patients to take a step back from any decision-making and take a breather first and foremost."

"Making the right decision is difficult as it takes time and energy to weigh up your options. In this situation, it appears the conversation is highly important to the parents of the child in question and although it may appear unrealistic and unwarranted to ask the older half-sister to be the sole guardian for her younger half-sister, an argument would have been diverted if she had delayed the conversation and later handled it more tactfully."

What Do the Comments Say?

The top comment received 12,200 upvotes, saying: "They were just getting started. The first step was to get you to agree to be her guardian if something happens to them. Once they have established that you care about your half-sister and want to help her, then they will ask you to buy her extra clothes for her birthday or take her to school shopping. Then they'll ask for help because they are short on rent and need to make sure their half-sister isn't homeless."

Another wrote: "Original poster is right to cut them off. Imagine spending your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc fending off cash grabs from the dad who broke your mom's heart, and yours too, by taking up with a woman his daughter's age? That's no way to live."

Newsweek reached out to u/AITA_nosister, for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.