New Mom Upset Husband Liked Colleague's Abs on Instagram, Sparks Debate

A husband liking a co-worker's photo has sparked a debate online.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted his account, has gone viral for opening up on how liking a co-worker's fitness photo "broke" his postpartum wife.

In a post shared to the r/TrueOffMyChest forum, the 30-year-old man explained he loves his wife and her body and he "likes" and comments on social media "to be nice."

The post has received 7,000 upvotes since it was posted on October 13.

It isn't uncommon for women to have a hard time adjusting to their body after giving birth. It may no longer look the same after carrying a human for nine months. But it is important to love your postpartum body.

Pregnancy information and baby advice website The Bump has provided some tips for new moms:

• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Unlearn unrealistic societal expectations
• Allow yourself time for self-care
• Communicate with your partner
• Be nice to yourself

The original poster (OP) explained: "My co-worker, 30, has started a fitness journey that she shares on Instagram. I automatically like all pictures by my co-workers, sometimes I don't even look at the content, I'm just showing some support."

Three weeks ago, the OP found the mother of his six-month-old child crying. Initially, she didn't want to share the reason why.

He said: "She showed me then that I have commented on this co-worker's abs. I told her that I was just being nice and encouraging my co-worker but she wouldn't have it. I haven't seen my wife naked since and she barely lets me kiss her before going to work."

"Yesterday she didn't see me walking in the bedroom. She was naked and when she saw me it was like she saw the grim reaper and hastily covered her midsection with a pillow. I didn't want to make it awkward so I said sorry I didn't see you and ran to the bathroom where I broke down crying in the shower. I broke my wife. I wish I could make her understand how I truly feel about her beautiful body but whatever I say comes out as an attempt to damage control. I miss her."

'Show and tell her she is the most important person to you'

Newsweek spoke to Fiona Eckersley, who is a confidence coach and author.

She said: "We all say and do things that we wish we could take back and I see how much this is distressing you. The biggest challenge you face, however, is not what you did, but that what you did likely only confirmed to your wife what she had been feeling about herself. Having children is a wonderful thing but the changes that we as women see in ourselves afterward, then adding in the hormones messing with emotions, can be a toxic mix to even the most confident woman. More than ever in this age of social media, women can tie their sense of self to how they look.

"With all this and a new baby, she is no doubt exhausted yet beating herself up for not getting out there to work out, bounce back and be the sexy woman (as she sees it) that she was before. Which is why she was so hurt by your comment on your co-worker's post.

"You can tell her that she is beautiful until you are blue in the face but if she doesn't feel that way herself, then this could continue to be a serious problem. I suggest that the very first thing you do is to show her that her feelings are way more important than those of your co-worker. Show her that you are unfollowing this person and that you don't care about her journey. Tell—and show—her that she is the most important person in the world to you.

"Take time to do things around the house and with the baby, so that she has the time to relax, catch up on sleep and have the time to pursue something that she liked to do before giving birth. Instead of hiding and crying in the shower, let her see that you are devastated that she thought you didn't find her as beautiful and sexy as before. Being vulnerable is a true sign of how much you love her.

"Finally, I would emphasize that consistency is the key. Showing your love in every way possible. Like little notes left around the place, buying flowers on the way home from work, or even just looking up and saying 'I love you' as you are watching TV."

What do the comments say?

More than 700 people have commented on the post. One user said: "I'm not married but just having a partner appreciate my body when I felt so ashamed of it has made a world of a difference. I know I shouldn't rely on outward approval or validation for my self-esteem but it sure as hell doesn't hurt."

Another wrote: "He's trying to look like a great husband, but if he's been commenting on a coworker's body, not only is it unprofessional but it's given the wife a reason for genuine concern. I think a lot of people here aren't noticing there are some gaping holes in his story…holes he's trying to fill with his wife's postpartum feelings about genuinely suspicious behavior, rather than honesty."

"From what his wife was upset about it was a comment about the coworkers' abs. I don't think OP is as innocent as he's coming off to be. It won't matter how much he reaffirms or reassures his wife, he's off liking other women's pictures, especially his coworkers," said another.

Newsweek was unable to verify the details of this case.