Woman Refusing To Meet Niece After Sister Slept With Her Fiancé Applauded

A woman has been backed for refusing to form a relationship with her niece after her sister "stole" her fiancé.

A viral post shared by Redditor u/Cultural-Might6479 has received 5,700 upvotes.

The original poster (OP) told others that she hasn't spoken to her sister in eight years after discovering she was having an "affair" with her then-fiancé.

She wrote: "It was not the first time something similar had happened. When we were teens (yes, I know, I know we were teens) there was a guy I really liked and we'd been flirting a bit and building up to something. I would confide in her about it. Then she went and slept with him and told me she wanted to 'test him out' for me.

"At the time I let it go. We were sisters. I wasn't actually dating the guy. But it stung that she would do that to me, and be so casual about it. But we were both young."

She went on to explain she began dating her ex-partner aged 22 and he proposed after 18 months. A year later, they started to plan the wedding but then the OP made a shocking discovery about him and her sister.

"I learned they had been together for five months. Not just having sex either but going out on dates, sneaking around to spend time with each other, and sleeping in my bed. She even brought him into my childhood bedroom and had sex with him on my childhood bed while our parents were out of town.

"She had no remorse until I found out. Then she broke down and told me how sorry she was, how she hadn't realized how much it would hurt me, and that she needed me to forgive her. I told her I hated her and wanted nothing more to do with her."

The OP explained she broke up with her then-fiancé and refused to forgive her sister, even when she "begged" and turned up to her workplace. Ever since they haven't spoken and she doesn't have a relationship with her sister's children whom her ex fathered.

Recently, her eldest niece turned six and the OP's parents asked her to attend the party. They offered to pay her to bake the birthday cake as she does this as a side job. But she refused.

She adds: "They told me how she wants to know me and that my sister would let them facilitate it. I said I was not interested. My sister reached out to me on Messenger and begged me to come. She said her daughter knew all about me and wanted to meet me and have her aunt in her life. I ignored my sister. My parents were furious when the party came and went and I stuck to my word. They told me I should have gone and I should make an effort to have a relationship with her."

'It is possible to forgive but not forget'

Newsweek spoke to Aaron Surtees, psychologist and founder of City Hypnosis.

He told Newsweek: "It is possible to forgive but not forget. Forgiveness can take time but it is a process and a journey that should be for yourself and not for the other person. It is a conscious decision that can only happen when the affected person has fully processed their hurt, trauma and different painful feelings around the experience.

"In terms of betrayal, if a family member deceives you, if there is any hope of forgiving them, you must set boundaries, distance yourself from the other person until you feel ready, practice mindfulness techniques, such as hypnosis, avoid self-blame, consciously face up to your feelings and concentrate on the positives in your life. Talking about it and connecting with your feelings is crucial.

"Lost trust is hard to overcome and if a person can forgive the betrayal over time, triggers can always spark, resulting in never forgetting what happened. There may always be a chance to reconnect and forgive but our subconscious mind will be in a state of awareness and on guard. Therefore, if you value a family relationship, you may never fully recover what has been lost."

What do the comments say?

The top comment has received over 8,200 upvotes. It said: "Your parents don't get to decide how long it takes you to forgive your sister. What was your parents' reaction when they found out your sister literally stole the man you were going to marry? I think it's particularly crappy that your family thinks the child she had with an affair partner is going to be the bait to get you to forgive her."

Another said: "Your sister has cannily realized the power of grandchildren. She's being manipulative and your parents are falling for it…Hold your ground and hopefully, your parents realize what she's doing."

"A 6-year-old would not beg to meet someone they do not know. Even if the grandparents showed her pictures, she would be like okay… Now if someone got her amped up and told her auntie would come to her party and bring her a big present and bake her a pretty cake, then she would want her to come. Kids do not care about people who are random relatives they have never met," said another Redditor.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Cultural-Might6479 for comment. We could not verify the details of the story.