Mom Blasted for Asking Teen Stepchild To Move Out: 'Want My Room Back'

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A woman who wants her 18-year-old stepdaughter to move out so she can use her room for her biological child has received a storm of backlash on Reddit.

In a post on Reddit's Am I Being The A**hole (AIBU) forum under the username throwawayaita284, the woman said: "We recently found we're having another child, and since our house only has 3 bedrooms there just won't be enough room. I want to turn Erin's [her stepdaughter] room into a nursery room.

"Since it is my house, I thought my husband would understand that I want my room back as I was nice enough to let her stay here for 6 years. She's 18 now and legally an adult so I don't feel any guilt about asking her to leave," the stepmom said.

According to an August 2019 article published by the American Psychological Association (APA), "Under the best conditions, it may take two to four years for a new stepfamily to adjust to living together."

The article noted that a marriage involving children from a previous marriage presents many challenges, such as financial and living arrangements.

"Adults should agree on where they will live and how they will share their money. Most often partners embarking on a second marriage report that moving into a new home, rather than one of the partner's prior residences, is advantageous because the new environment becomes 'their home'," the APA article said.

A woman looking frustrated at another woman.
A woman sitting near moving boxes, looking frustrated while trying to speak to woman wearing headphones. iStock/Getty Images Plus

Explaining that Erin is "amazing" with her five-year-old biological son (who she shares with Erin's dad), the woman in the latest Reddit post said she is "a little jealous about the bond they have."

However, the stepmom claimed "it is not the reason I want her out like my husband keeps thinking is the reason," saying "I still want a relationship with her."

She noted: "My husband is mad at my decision and is calling me an AH [a**hole] and saying if she goes then he goes too. I don't want to lose him too but I feel like this is my decision, not his."

Several users on Reddit criticized the mother for "prioritizing a room over a child" and expecting the child to be "grateful" to have been allowed to stay at her home.

In a comment that got 14,600 upvotes, one user said: "YTA [you are the a**hole] You want a relationship with her but for all the years she's spent being a child in your home you were never her mother. Shame on you for prioritizing a room over a child."

In a comment that got 8,200 upvotes, another user said: " Let's not forget the line where she expected a child of 12 to be grateful that she (OP [original poster]) allowed her to live in her (OP's) home for the past six years. Imagine being so far up your own black hole from where no self-awareness can escape."

A third said: "Don't forget to add that she thinks it's reasonable for a college student to either live somewhere she is uncomfortable or afford an apartment. And after 6 years it's still HER house. Major YTA."

And a fourth agreed, saying: "An 18 year old college student as well. Like she's basically still a child. 21+ I can maybe understand, but 18? Nah, OP is a massive, off the scale AH," in a comment that got 1,500 upvotes.

Newsweek has contacted the original poster (user throwawayaita284) for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

About the writer

Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in travel, health, home/interior design and property/real estate. Soo covered the COVID-19 pandemic extensively from 2020 to 2022, including several interviews with the chief medical advisor to the president, Dr. Anthony Fauci. Soo has reported on various major news events, including the Black Lives Matter movement, the U.S. Capitol riots, the war in Afghanistan, the U.S. and Canadian elections, and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Soo is also a South Korea expert, covering the latest K-dramas—including the breakout hit Squid Game, which she has covered extensively, including from Seoul, the South Korean capital—as well as Korean films, such as the Golden Globe and Oscar-nominated Past Lives, and K-pop news, to interviews with the biggest Korean actors, such as Lee Jung-jae from Squid Game and Star Wars, and Korean directors, such as Golden Globe and Oscar nominee Celine Song. Soo is the author of the book How to Live Korean, which is available in 11 languages, and co-author of the book Hello, South Korea: Meet the Country Behind Hallyu. Before Newsweek, Soo was a travel reporter and commissioning editor for the award-winning travel section of The Daily Telegraph (a leading U.K. national newspaper) for nearly a decade from 2010, reporting on the latest in the travel industry, from travel news, consumer travel and aviation issues to major new openings and emerging destinations. Soo is a graduate of Binghamton University in New York and the journalism school of City University in London, where she earned a Masters in international journalism. You can get in touch with Soo by emailing s.kim@newsweek.com . Follow her on Instagram at @miss.soo.kim or X, formerly Twitter, at @MissSooKim .Languages spoken: English and Korean


Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in Read more