Why Mom Refuses to Let Her Son Stay at His Grandpa's House Backed

A mom's "petty" reason for not allowing her son to spend the night at her father's house is being applauded online.

Sharing her frustration with Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum, u/funkydesert369 said she'd had a close relationship with her 54-year-old father "her entire life."

"He has always been my best friend," the 30-year-old wrote. "I have my own home and job and life, but we talk multiple times a day and he's very involved with my son, that's just how it's always been."

That dynamic shifted when her dad started a new romance. The poster and the new girlfriend don't exactly get along.

"She's the worst," the mom-of-one said. "Very controlling, moving in after just a month, taking over his money, finding fault in ALL of his relationships other than theirs."

The new girlfriend is constantly picking fights with u/funkydesert369, with the poster somehow "always the bad guy." Over the past year, her dad has seen less and less of the Redditor and her 9-year-old son, but a recent message caused the relationship to implode.

"She texted me one weekend and told me that i need to stop coming to his house on sunday nights (which has been our family dinner night for as long as i can remember), [because] she has to work monday mornings," the Redditor wrote. "I f***** grew up in this house, and i was definitely snippy with my response. Now my dad won't 'allow' me in his home until i apologize to her."

For the past month, the relationship with her dad has been frosty. Now, he wants her son to come and stay with him, but u/funkydesert369 is still not allowed in the house.

"I gotta just drop him in the driveway," she wrote. "Am i petty and ridiculous for not wanting my kid somewhere where i am not welcome? I'm getting mixed responses from friends and other family."

According to research by sociologist Karl Pillemar, 1 in 4 people in the United States are estranged from a relative. Rifts between parents and children appear to be rising, with common reasons including differences in values, a lack of emotional support, narcissistic behavior, and abuse.

"Toxic family members are manipulative, defensive, lack accountability and have no regard for the feelings of others," Chase Cassine, a behavioral health specialist at DePaul Community Health Centers, told Newsweek. "But because of the close-knit relationship, it's often hard for many of us to accept that family members can negatively impact our emotional well-being."

New romantic partners can also cause lead to parental estrangement, even in previously healthy parent-child relationships. Who your parents date may be out of your control, but you can manage your reaction to their new partner's behavior—especially if their actions also affect your kids.

"Set clear and firm boundaries that limit contact with them to safeguard your mental health and well-being of your children," Cassine advises.

Fellow Redditors supported funkydesert369, voting her "Not the A******" or "NTA."

"No damn way my kid goes anywhere I'm not welcome," said Sweeper1985. "What if there was an emergency or he contacted you to get picked up while they wanted him to stay?" asked Sirix_8472.

"Until a child is into their teens, you have to accept contact with the parent if you want to see a child," agreed Dashcamkitty. "Dad can visit them at their house for sunday dinner, she can pick him up from the driveway," joked coppermouthed.

"Sounds like this woman has been trying to push you out of your dad's life for a while and finally succeeded," said Zealousideal-Divide6. "Your son isn't safe," wrote No_Scarcity8249. "Trust your gut. Something is wrong with this woman."

Moni_CSM advised showing the Reddit posts and the comments to her father.

"He doesn't seem to realize that he is about to throw away his relationship with his child and grandchild for this new drama queen," they said. "He definitely needs a wakeup call."

In the comments, u/funkydesert369 said that her son misses his grandfather, but that she is confident in her decision.

"I'm not saying he can't go out of spite or emotion. i genuinely don't feel comfortable knowing they aren't speaking to me and i can't walk him inside," she wrote. "But yes, he misses his pa very much and they are unwilling to compromise."

Newsweek reached out to u/funkydesert369 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.