Don't Go Into Business With a Friend, From a Woman Who Still Regrets It

Since we spend most of our time with our work colleagues, you'd think that it's good to be in business with a friend, surely? This is something that writer Catherine Nikkel has experienced first-hand, and she now says she would never do again.

Nikkel, 41, is a celebrated author who has ghostwritten many books. However, when she tried to work with a friend of hers to co-author a journal in 2020, she told Newsweek that it was a disastrous partnership. They initially hoped that their friendship would aid the business, although it resulted in her losing more than just a company.

After knowing her friend for a couple of years, Nikkel agreed to go into business with him in January 2020. She said they shared a mutual desire to make an impact on the world of social care and psychotherapy. The pair were optimistic that their friendship would be a good foundation to start a business.

Being friends with your colleagues is an important factor for workers, as the 2021 American Perspectives Survey found. The results showed that the most common way for people to make new friends is through their work, as 54 percent of Americans said this was how they met a close friend.

Unfortunately for Nikkel, she felt that problems started to appear by the summer of 2020, just a few months after she went into business with her friend. While they faced many obstacles, she admitted that the pandemic also played a role in some of those issues.

Instead of working equally with Nikkel to grow the company, she said that her business partner was putting his personal life first, leaving her making the sacrifices and struggling to cope.

"When it comes to business with friends, it might be fair to say I still feel slightly triggered by the thought," Nikkel added.

"Just before the pandemic hit, I went into business with a friend to create an online membership program, focusing on mindset and personal development in a specific demographic.

"Although the friend I was going into business with didn't have much of his own experience, our chemistry as friends, and passion to help others, were strong factors in the decision," Nikkel said.

At first, she felt the business was developing well, and both partners were able to pool together their creativity and passion for the projects. Nikkel even felt like the friendship was "a bonus at the time," as they were driving towards a shared goal while enjoying the work along the way.

Many new businesses face obstacles, so when Nikkel started noticing problems, she hoped that their mutual desires and passion would help them overcome the difficulties. However, there's only so far a friendship can go.

"When we first became business partners, it was exciting," Nikkel added. "We spent hours every day brainstorming, creating and pouring into the mindset of the business.

"We had initially created a decent balance, or what felt like one. There were equal parts of the sacrifice and our passion led the way," Nikkel said.

"There weren't any red flags initially. However, with the onset of the pandemic, many aspects were changed, in both the business and the friendship. Our priorities shifted, and admittedly I gave ultimatums.

"I didn't enjoy feeling like the only person making time for the business, or making personal sacrifices. In September 2020, I asked him to consider if the business was going to be a priority or not," Nikkel added.

"While the pandemic played a role in the problems, my business partner's unwillingness to give up social or dating time was also a large part of the problem."

Sadly, the business model was dissolved in July 2022, and Nikkel went on to complete the journal they'd been working on by herself. Although they were no longer in business together, Nikkel said her "integrity mattered" so she had to finish the job.

The book, The Lightbulb Moments Journal: A Guided Journal to Help You Experience Clarity and Light Up the World, even went on to be an Amazon bestseller, which was a bittersweet moment for Nikkel.

"Unfortunately, this business partnership dissolved when he chose another path, and as a result, our friendship dissolved, too," Nikkel said. "At the time, we were in the process of writing and publishing a journal, which I completed on my own.

"Looking back, the obstacles began to overpower the commonalities which originally we felt would push our partnership through the tougher times.

"Initially we stayed in contact, although less and less over time. Then he stopped communicating entirely in early 2021," Nikkel added.

"I miss my friend immensely. I believed my business partner when he said he valued our friendship more than business. I'm confident he made the best decision for himself, whether it felt like it or not. Had we not ventured down this business road together, I'd like to believe we'd still be friends."

Since going through the grueling experience, Nikkel said she's heard from others who also lost friends by going into business together, and it's something she warns people against doing.

Nikkel explained: "Going into business with friends is like venturing into dangerous waters. If you are prepared to sacrifice both the business and friendship if things start to unravel, then go for it.

"As a result, I have learned about several similar ones through business colleagues, and I encourage people to think long and hard about it," Nikkel added.

"There is much more at stake than the financials. But, with the right framework from the beginning, it's not an impossible task. I just know it's not an avenue I will never consider in the future."

People may choose to go into business with a friend because they trust them, but business expert and entrepreneur Andrii Gurskyi told Newsweek that it's not without risks. He has created multiple businesses, including HomeClean, and has gone into business with a friend, so he knows the challenges that it brings.

"Within my experience, it's common for friends to have different business and life goals," Gurskyi said. "When these goals diverge significantly, it can lead to friction and conflict in the partnership.

"Blurring the lines between personal and professional relationships can create complications. It can be difficult to separate personal emotions from business decisions, which may lead to biased decision-making. Friends can also find it challenging to provide each other with honest, constructive feedback due to fear of hurting their feelings."

By entwining friendship and business, Gurskyi said that work-related conflicts can be taken personally, and this can hinder the growth of the business. His advice is to establish clear boundaries to separate work from friendship, ensuring that neither one is impacted negatively.

Gurskyi added that it's beneficial to have a legal partnership agreement, so that if things don't work out, then it's clear who gets what from the outset.

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